[8thstreetbungalow]

I have a criminal background. It is just a misdemeaner for harrassment thats all. But the problem is, it involves me stalking a girl. It was a very weak time in my life I highly regret it and was not proud of my decisions.

Well the problem is when i try dating or meeting girls. I often get asked the whole "have you comitted any crimes?" or what not. Or they do a background check and find out. They talk to me about the charge ask what my conditions were for release and so on and so forth. I was given 2 years level 2 probation with no jail time. I was released from probation after 2 months as the cops thought the whole charge wasn't even fair to begin with. That is just part of the issue, my stalking was connected to a psychotic break. So not only do i have to admit to stalking someone, but right off the bat i basically have to start describing my illness.

What should i do? Makes dating very very difficult.

[hvert]

I think you are dating the wrong women. People are running background checks on you and asking you about your criminal background??? That doesn't sound like typical dating behavior.

Unless if they google your name, something related to this problem shows up? Is that possible?

[~Christina]

As Hvert said can a simple search bring up information like that?

As far as telling someone about your past.. well I wouldn't bring it up first date of course .. Also how long ago was this incident? If your seeing someone eventually you would need to disclose that to them , but by then I am sure they would realize you are a nice guy and not get scared off.

There really is nothing you can do about someone you just met running a background check on you.. Thats out of your hands.

Good Luck

[8thstreetbungalow]

One girl her dad was the senator of the state. She told me she background checks everyone. The other girl her mom got involved after finding out we were talking and asked the question. After i said it her mom stopped the whole thing.

[A Red Panda]

Wow... I can't imagine doing a background check on someone. Can't really even figure out how that would be possible to do.

I never knew that "do you have a criminal record" was part of standard dating etiquette... as far as I'm aware, it's totally not.

I'd try to not worry about it and would probably consider those women to be a bit overly-paranoid/cautious. They might have their reasons for it, they might not. But would you want to be with someone that's so suspicious that they run checks on people they've only just met?

Keep meeting new people and starting out new relationships, your experience so far is definitely not the norm!

[8thstreetbungalow]

cool thanks

[Terabithia]

My husband and I met on a dating site for people with a mental illness, called No Longer Lonely. We were completely upfront with each other from the beginning. He had spent time in prison and our having an illness was a given. Do you think it might be easier for you to meet a woman who also has a mental illness? Often, people who have gone through a lot in life are more understanding of what others' have gone through. I think we are a less judgmental group.

[8thstreetbungalow]

Hey thanks alot for the website. Let me give my swings at meeting girls in person as I have to confront some issues in that department. After that if things aren't going well ill look into it.

[dedicated]

Originally Posted by 8thstreetbungalow

I have a criminal background. It is just a misdemeaner for harrassment thats all. But the problem is, it involves me stalking a girl. It was a very weak time in my life I highly regret it and was not proud of my decisions.

Well the problem is when i try dating or meeting girls. I often get asked the whole "have you comitted any crimes?" or what not. Or they do a background check and find out. They talk to me about the charge ask what my conditions were for release and so on and so forth. I was given 2 years level 2 probation with no jail time. I was released from probation after 2 months as the cops thought the whole charge wasn't even fair to begin with. That is just part of the issue, my stalking was connected to a psychotic break. So not only do i have to admit to stalking someone, but right off the bat i basically have to start describing my illness.

What should i do? Makes dating very very difficult.

Just keep socializing, the right person should love you being who and what you are. Hoping that you will find her soon. Don't feel bad about the past, nobody is perfect and we all learn from our mistakes. Good luck buddy!

[8thstreetbungalow]

thanks man appreciate the support