[A.Lone]

I am tired of being alone with no support, tired of trying counseling every week, excerse (bike riding) with no positive results, and tired of corresponding with people who eventually quit writing back. While I'm not suicidal, not living seems better than living the life I am. I've got some faults but am not a bad person. Why is it so difficult to find some dependable support????

[hvert]

What about lending support to other people? I'm not sure if you have already tried that or not.

It can be really frustrating when you feel like you've clicked with someone and then don't hear back from them.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

There may be other support available to you in your area. I'd suggest something, but I don't know whereabouts you are in the world.

As for the exercise, if you're aiming to lose weight, then you should know the following things:

Losing body fat takes time. Losing body fat around the bum around (for women) can take the longest, and (for the guys) the stomach is the one that seems to take the longest. (as I'm experiencing xD I've worked out for quite a long time, but had a couple of years in which depression ruled me, I comfort-ate, and now I'm trying to undo the damage; making progress, but it takes time, patience, and determination)

You should know that cardio, while being great for losing weight, isn't the only way to help these things along. If you add strength-training into it as well, it'll help. As I understand it, it's a matter of building muscle (which explains why I was always so thin) for which your body burns more calories to maintain. It improves your metabolism, which is what burns the calories, even while you're sitting at the computer. It's worth doing some research into this stuff.

The sort of exercises you could do depend on your current physical state, possibly your gender, and with that, your aim. If you want to tone up a bit, I believe you don't want to go for too high a weight, but also, not too low, unless you just want definition. As a general rule, as I've been told by a qualified fitness instructor (step-mother xD): lower weights but more reps means definition/toning, but higher weights and less reps means bigger muscles.

Diet is incredibly important. If you aren't getting decent results, it could be down to your diet, stress, and/or bad sleep. Make sure not to neglect the fats; the media tells you they are all super evil, but it's apparently wrong. There are two "healthy" that I recommend you at least try to keep around the RDA, or whatever you need. (a dietician or something could really help, if you're able to get that) The two "healthy" fats are monounsaturated fats and polyunsaturated fats. The link should be helpful. Avoid saturated fats; they are the bad ones. Unless you're bulking for a lot of muscle growth, avoid eating too much things like red meat. You can find all sorts of resources online for what you should and shouldn't eat; I'm sure some of it will vary.

Remember, if you decide to gain muscle, it weighs more than body fat, so don't panic if you gain a bit of weight; it's the weight that's awesome to have, because it's that GRRR muscle weight. You'll know the body fat is coming off because you'll see the difference. If you're going for toning, the same may happen, but likely at a much lower amount, as you're not necessarily focusing no building muscle, but "upgrading" what you have, I guess you could say. xD

There's lots more, but Google is your friend. This is just some of the stuff I've learned over the years, from both researching online, and talking to those who are very knowledgeable in this area, such as my step-mother and her brother, both also into fitness and have frequented gyms for years. Speaking of gyms, you can do all this stuff from home. An exercise bike is just fine; I have one and have had excellent results from it. There's lots of exercises done with just a floor, a few with leaning on something, and there's even a pullup bar for your door frames. Lots of choices.

I should also point out that you cannot (apparently) lose weight in a targeted manner, for example: doing tons of situps won't lose belly fat anymore than doing a bunch of bicep curls will lose fat around that area.

Hope that helps. 8)

You should be proud of yourself for keeping up with this biking thing! Maybe you should sit and write/type out a list of the things you like about the world; things you find beautiful or captivating/inspiring. Plenty to live for, it's just that some people get so blinded by various sources of pain, that they no longer see it. Take a look outside... do you see birds, do you feel the wind on your skin, do you hear all the noises of life around you? Those are just some of the things I consider wonderful, if you just really look and listen, feel, smell, and touch. I used to think life wasn't worth living, but I was wrong... even with all the crap in the world, there's always something beautiful.

[~Christina]

Find real life support is very hard to find. I like Hverts idea about helping others.. Maybe put some hours into a local soup kitchen or your local dog pound, hospital , nursing home, YMCA, etc

It will get you out around other people and a large majority of people that volunteer like this are really good people that could be just the support your wanting and needing .

Good luck

[silver tree]

I am very sorry that you feel that way It is good that you are exercising regularly and keeping up with your couselling. Things take time, especially therapy. Please try and stick with the positives in your life and use the PC forum to vent maybe?

Love to you x

[A.Lone]

Thanks for your suggestions! Hate to make excuses, but I'm about to. I live in a close-nit community where people have lived all their lives and have known people just as long - it's tough to be accepted. With somewhat various work hours, it's tough to commit to volunteer work. And most of that is done while I'm working. I can't even find a shrink to get mental meds during the hours I'm NOT working (my boss frowns heavily and me taking off work for appointments). From my experience with mental meds, you need an appointment once/month when trying new meds.

Diet could be a problem, but I don't know a carbohydrate from a calorie! My major reason for bike riding is to avoid becoming like my mother in eventually using a cane/walker to get around as I get older. Bike riding is DEFINITELY not to lose weight. A contradiction there is I could actually use another 20+ pounds; I was already beginning to lose weight when I started.

While I didn't mention it originally, I'm also losing interest in things I once enjoyed. Granted some of that is due to getting over 50 and no longer having the abilities (which is depressing in itself), but there are also things I can still do and no longer enjoy. The infamous "they" say you should do things for yourself. But having someone to do things with is so much more enjoyable, learning from each other and supporting each other when needed.

Seems like the older I get, the more depressed I get. There are moments of hope, but hope disappears. These feelings are literally getting old and I'm losing patience in hoping solid will come along. Excuses maybe, reasons maybe. I don't know anymore! With not being able to stick up for myself, I'm just flat out tired!