[the_link]

Well, I am single again. My girlfriend and I decided to break up. We broke up 2 weeks ago but decided to give it a second go. I really wanted to work on the relationship, but she needed space. Loving her, I said ok. We saw each other a couple of times a week. Usually Wed nights and weekends. We were getting along great, but she was not the same person she was before. I couldn't say "I love you", "I miss you", "I am thinking of you" or anything like that because it was too deep. She wouldn't really hug or kiss me too often, but I was being patient. Today she made plans to do stuff during the day, and I was going to do housework. I asked to see her later on and she didnt know if that was possible. We got into a discussion about us and realized that we were at a standstill. I really wanted to work on us, I was so excited to have her in my life. She really needed space, and couldn't give me the reassurance I needed. I rely on hugs and kisses to let me know she cares, and I try to do the same for her. I really dont want to lose her, but I have my own needs. And I know she doesnt want to lose me, but cant give me what I need. This is a brief synopsis, its much deeper than this. I guess my biggest fear is that I am going to go back to being the solitary person I was. Before her, there were three years in between girlfriends. I really thought I had found Mrs. Right. My therapy has really opened me up to what love has to offer and now it is gone. I really miss her, but I feel deep in my heart it had to be done. I really need to work on myself and get my head straightened out. We both rushed into this relationship. I dont know, I am sad, and relieved at the same time. I want a family so bad. Now I am just rambling, I am sorry. Thanks for listening and any support you can give.

Mike

[dexter]

sorry to hear this, but it seems like you parted on good terms rather than in the heat of an argument.

I hope sincerely that you are going to continue therapy. I believe that you recognize what it has done and what it can do for you. I also believe that on that road lies some solutions for you toward more happiness.

And don't forget you always have us here as your friends. Doesn't replace flesh and blood friends nearby but its a wider audience and someone is always here whenever you need.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[the_link]

Yeah, we did part on good terms. The breakup might have been a little premature, but better this way than to end up in an argument like you said. I am definitely going to continue therapy. I have grown to really like it and now I need to focus on fixing myself, not fixing myself and working on a relationship also. I have never really been able to love someone, and she helped me to learn how to love. Now I know what love can be, I just need to find the right one. Thats the hard part since I live out in the sticks. So the plan is to keep going to therapy and hopefully find Mrs. Right along the way.

I really do appreciate all the help and support from everyone here. Thanks again.

Mike

[heatherm]

{{{{{{{{{Mike}}}}}}}}}}}

I am soo sorry this happened. Please know we are all here for you.

Keep working on yourself like you have been doing.....that is the best thing to do. There is definitely someone out there for you. You have so much to give to someone.

Take care and know that you are in my thoughts. Give Sarge a few extra hugs today.


Heather

[Lexicon78]

I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup. While I was reading your post I couldn't help but think about my ex and how she was in the end. She was very cold to me, like your ex was. I know it really hurts and hope you can get past this. I wish you the best of luck.

[the_link]

Thanks Heather,

Sarge and I will get through this. Working on me is my main priority for sure. I just really wanted it to work. Maybe after she takes her "space" we can try again, but I am not going to wait around. I am 35, and would like to have a family soon. But if she was not right, she was not right. Sarge is very perceptive of what is going on. The split was amicable, and he sat in between us on the bed with some really sad eyes. He kept reaching out with his paw to both of us as if to say "It will be ok." He knew something was wrong. He will miss her, and I will too. But you are right, not to brag but I have a lot to give, and someday I will find someone to give it to. Thanks for the hugs!!

Mike and Sarge

[the_link]

Thanks. It shouldnt be too hard to get over this. The relationship was a few days short of 5 months, so it wasnt that long and involved. She wasn't really cold, but more like distant, hard to reach. I really wanted to work things out and start a life together, but oh well. Pick up the pieces and move on. Time to focus on fixing me and everything else will fall in line.

Mike

[dexter]

>> I am definitely going to continue therapy.

I think that is the most important thing. It will help you figure out what you really want in life and how to recognize it.

It also shows that although you do want to share your love with someone, you also want to take care of yourself. You can't expect anyone to love you unless you love yourself first and continuing to work on yourself shows that you do. I believe the rest will fall into place with time.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[heatherm]

Hi Mike

I am so glad you are doing ok. Therapy will work wonders with you......with your energy and positive thinking towards it - it helps so much.

You are only 35....I was that age when I had my youngest son so there is plenty of time for that. I have a feeling that you are going to find someone a bit more outgoing....showing their emotions, etc. Just my opinion ... but with everything that you are going to be working on in therapy (to learn more of these skills) chances are that you will find someone who has these skills already.....to possibly give you more of a balance...just a thought of mine.

Brag all you want....I can sense from your posts how caring and giving you are....those are traits to be admired.... be proud of them.

Aren't dogs amazing how they just "know" what is going on? They are like children...they see and hear everything.


Heather

[the_link]

What kind of frightens me is that I live in a kind of rural area. Its a terrible place for a single person to live and I cant afford to move. I brainwashed myself into thinking I didnt want to be with anyone and now I know I do. Its a working class area, and not the type of people I would ever date (not to talk down on anyone). If I met someone, I could easily sell my house and with a dual income move to a better area. Its just finding the right person, and I am not sure where I can go to find her. I was thinking about the online dating, but I tried that before and wasn't too successful. I know I need to focus on getting myself better, but that still doesnt replace the lonliness and emptiness I feel right now. If only I could speed up time!

I am so glad I have Sarge. He is going to be all hugged out in the next few days. I just want to find one girl and focus everything I have on her. I know its a lot, but there has to be someone who would like all the attention. I really do appreciate the kind words. It helps alot!!

Mike