My little brother is 10-years-old, and he's really social and hard-working in school. Heck, he can make more friends than I can in a year (exaggeration ^^), but he has this bad habit on playing on the computer.

I have no idea why he thinks he should have fun 24/7, but when he comes home from school, he goes on the computer. After we come from a party, he goes on the computer. When he was just playing with his friends 30 minutes ago or finished watching a movie with the family, the damn computer!

I love my brother and I don't think he's a bad child, but this habit has been going on for a few years. He still gets straight A's and some B's (at this point) and I don't mind him being a gamer, but I don't want him to be that kind of gamer who eventually gains lots of weight and has a sick, lonely life. My brother has noticeable fat around his stomach (he looks skinny until you see his stomach, it's not like a muffin top), and I try to get him to exercise like stretching, jumping jacks, and jogging in place, but he hates it V__V.

Also, I don't really interact with my brother much because I want my alone time plus I have homework, but he doesn't do anything by himself. But he does draw and read in his free time.

The computer he goes on is a hand-built awesome blue-glowing gaming unit that's really cool, and he built it with my dad. They're computer geeks ^^, but I hope that's not the first step of the Gaming Curse (what I'd like to call it.) Help?

[hvert]

Can you bring your concerns up to your parents? Is there anything you could do with your brother that he would enjoy? Maybe offer to give him a ride to his friend's house sometime?

It could just be that you are two different people with two different sets of interests, too. One of my brothers was seriously into console games when he was around that age - my parents found some sort of device that would lock the TV so he couldn't play 24/7. He might have obsessed a bit as a kid, but he grew out of it in a few years-- still interested in games, but not to the exclusion of all else.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

What's wrong with that? He's still going out, still doing well at school, ... I don't see a problem with him coming home and unwinding; we all need to unwind and have our own space. OK, getting him fit is a good idea... find something fun that he might like, like sports. Perhaps his parents could get him involved in an active group or something. Going on the computer and playing games does not mean you'll end up one of THOSE people. I did exactly what your brother did, I've had relationships, I've just started a college course, I workout, I play the guitar, etc... I'm 28... we're not all THOSE people. I went on games so much to get away from reality... I was bullied lot at school and was going through lots of crap in my head that scared me and nobody understood any of it; maybe he's got some issues he's running away from. As long as he's not totally isolating himself all the time, then I wouldn't personally feel especially alarmed, but... you guys (mainly his parents, to be fair) know best, or at least should know best. xD Best of luck. I wish my sister bothered to look out for me when I was a kid, but she didn't give a damn!

By the way, there are many ways to block computer activity. There's bound to be plenty of different applications out there that lock your computer at a certain time, or give you a gaming quota or something. An easy one is to set up a batch file that initializes the "shutdown" command at a specific time, but it's very easy to get around, if he knows anything about CMD.

but he doesn't do anything by himself

He does, he games; that's what he enjoys, and you say he draws and reads, too. Honestly, he sounds like a normal kid to me. He's likely got some puppy fat on him; that'll go eventually. I was the same, then ended up getting in shape, and eventually got into weight lifting and cardio stuff. Funnily enough, I am now a bit overweight, but that's because of mental health crap... still working out heaps, though!

Also, a computer guy. and also built my own gaming rig, ... but I'm still not one of THOSE people. Granted, I've been close, but I put that down to my mental health. (OCD, anxiety, and depression for as long as I can remember) Still, ... wish I went out more, or felt like I could've... ah well. When he starts ditching everything for the games, then you know there's a problem, ESPECIALLY if he lets his education slide, that's when he needs intervention, IMO.

[Puglife]

I have a 10 year old daughter and she is obsessed with Minecraft. She is active and healthy and plays sports, but her downtime is mostly playing Minecraft. As long as she is doing her homework and chores and otherwise remaining active I'm okay with it.

Where are your parents? It is up to them to set limits for him and ensure he is doing everything in moderation.

[healingme4me]

My boys love their gaming. They play sports, get homework done, do chores. My eleven year old, as described by one of his friends has his own language, so to speak. They split the screen and play together or go live with their friends, which is fun to overhear them chit chatting. If it was their only outlet, I'd probably worry.

(Minecrafters, here, too ^^ )

Their bmi's vary, but in healthy ranges, one almost close to under, one closer to over, one smack dab in the middle. They are close in age, too.

What else are you hoping he'd try?

Because of these skills, my oldest has, many times now, aided his teachers and friends.

Gamers can go onto many lucrative careers. Engineering, IT, doctors, lawyers, designers, et al.

Additionally: when my oldest was about four, my uncle who's in the field, came to help with a computer repair, he was taken aback a moment with something my son did with the keyboard. With comfort of 'boarding and gaming, comes confidence in a high tech society.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Indeed. Gaming taught me a lot, oddly; most notably improves logic, navigation, reflexes, and can even teach morals, depending on the game chosen. gaming isn't too different from watching programmes and films; they are not real, provide an escape, and provide entertainment; the only difference with games, is that rather than just watching, you can interact and even be at the center of the story. Provided kids keep to appropriate games, I think it can be wonderful. "games" have been used in an educational sense for many years.

Everyone's advice is helpful! Some of you are saying that it's normal to go on a device like a computer to blow off some stress, like I do on my tablet. But my brother's eyes turn red and he doesn't even notice the pain that usually comes from staring at a screen for so long. I guess kids don't feel it at this age and he's getting used to it, which I worry, but when I was his age, whenever I would feel dizzy or experience "head cramps" I stopped playing on the computer.

I'm going to see if I can find a lock on his computer. Also, I've told him about a gaming-schedule that he had to follow: play every other day. Well, he does follow that plan but he abuses his time, like he plays for 3 hours straight in one day for example. Not all the time, though. Most of the time, one of us in the family tries to pry his little fingers off the keyboard by yelling and/or disciplining him (hitting, ex.). He almost always ends up crying and says the same thing, "I'm turning it off!"I hate doing that, but my brother just doesn't get time management.

[~Christina]

Wait wait wait ... This is a tad confusing ...Why would you think its ok to find a lock for his computer? Your the sister not the parent right?

Do you just have 1 computer in the house? Who is prying his fingers off or hitting him ????

I honestly think you need to stop being concerned over "his" computer time and let your "parents" be the ones to decide what happens and what will not ..

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

I honestly think you need to stop being concerned over "his" computer time and let your "parents" be the ones to decide what happens and what will not ..

It is inappropriate to hit him because he is on the computer longer than you prefer.

[lilypup]

My sons both gamed extensively. They're both now in college. One is into bodybuilding. They still game a lot but do other stuff.

[chrissy6225]

Originally Posted by Zwangsstörung

Indeed. Gaming taught me a lot, oddly; most notably improves logic, navigation, reflexes, and can even teach morals, depending on the game chosen. gaming isn't too different from watching programmes and films; they are not real, provide an escape, and provide entertainment; the only difference with games, is that rather than just watching, you can interact and even be at the center of the story. Provided kids keep to appropriate games, I think it can be wonderful. "games" have been used in an educational sense for many years.

I agree with this.
I guess I don't see what the problem is either. Considering he is so social, it seems like he doesn't have social issues, and escaping purely for wanting to not be social. If his grades are good that's great also.

I think it is important for people to learn about being active, and having a healthy lifestyle. But being a computer nerd does not go hand in hand with being unhealthy. Yes, he may be less active then someone who goes into an active profession or has more active hobbies.

When you said he was a computer geek like your dad I thought bingo! He might turn out like me, working in a profession that involves computers. Is he a creative person? Creative people spend hours drawing , designing, planning and working on things and not being "active". I think more intelligent professions tend involve work that requires more logic and thinking, perhaps working with your hands, and less heavy physical work.

When you are a kid you should play and be active, but if he is learning that he might actually love the computer, developing skills to utilize it in his life, that doesn't mean it's a bad thing. I was honestly the same way.

[SnakeCharmer]

It's inappropriate to hit him, period. He's a good student, he has friends, he made this really cool computer with your dad but he plays more than you like and he's got some fat on him. Overall, he sounds like a pretty good kid.

My darling Wishbone, you want your brother to have a good life and not turn into one of those kids who sits in their room gaming with no other life. I understand that. But he does have a life. It's just not what you like. Maybe you know (and maybe cared about) someone who turned out badly because they got too hooked on gaming? Is that possible? And you don't want the same thing to happen to your little bro?

If you have concerns about his his health or physique or if you worry about his well-being, please bring it up with your mom and/or dad. Let them handle it.

But there are things you can do. Invite your bother to go on outings, to take walks or whatever kind of exercise you engage in. Help him, gently, make good food choices by sharing your good food choices with him. It's a very powerful motivator to have an older sibling want to do things with you and share food with you -- in a gentle, loving, fun manner.

If you lock his computer, yell at him and hit him, then you become the annoying sibling in the household and a few years from now he might be here at psychcentral complaining about being abused by you. I mean, how would you feel if that stuff was done to you?

Be the good sibling here. Love him, help him, share your activities and good choices with him. Then please come back and tell us how he responds.

There are a lot of really smart and experienced people here, people who have had to figure out some tough life problems. I'm really sure people will be glad to help you figure out positive ways to be a good influence on your brother. If one thing doesn't work, then people will help you figure out another.

Next time you make yourself a healthy snack, maybe think about making enough for two and sharing it with him. That way you can help him eat the right foods. That's a really nice thing for a sibling to do. Take care. I wish you the best.

[jimmy rich]

Originally Posted by Lucky_Wishbone

Most of the time, one of us in the family tries to pry his little fingers off the keyboard by yelling and/or disciplining him (hitting, ex.).

Hello:
I read both of your posts and if I were his sibling, I would leave it up to his parents to manage and HELP him the way they want to. If I felt that he was being abused or harmed, I'd call CPS. If I were you, I'd speak with his parents about my issues and then leave it to them to HELP him in any way they deem necessary. I sure would not be hitting my own sibling except maybe in SELF DEFENSE! And even then, it's his parents DUTY to HELP him behave better.
As his sibling, it is my duty to LOVE & RESPECT him - not parent him.
best wishes,
jim

[healingme4me]

Originally Posted by Lucky_Wishbone

Everyone's advice is helpful! Some of you are saying that it's normal to go on a device like a computer to blow off some stress, like I do on my tablet. But my brother's eyes turn red and he doesn't even notice the pain that usually comes from staring at a screen for so long. I guess kids don't feel it at this age and he's getting used to it, which I worry, but when I was his age, whenever I would feel dizzy or experience "head cramps" I stopped playing on the computer.

I'm going to see if I can find a lock on his computer. Also, I've told him about a gaming-schedule that he had to follow: play every other day. Well, he does follow that plan but he abuses his time, like he plays for 3 hours straight in one day for example. Not all the time, though. Most of the time, one of us in the family tries to pry his little fingers off the keyboard by yelling and/or disciplining him (hitting, ex.). He almost always ends up crying and says the same thing, "I'm turning it off!"I hate doing that, but my brother just doesn't get time management.

Why has your brother become your responsibility?

Where's your parents?

I know I do snap a lot and I get angry really quick, but deep inside I really want to take care of him. He's very stubborn, and I'm trying to get him to follow a responsible path (my parents are, too). I know a lot of you have said that this doesn't really matter because he's social and he plays to blow off steam, but I didn't go into our family schedule here in my post. Our schedule is strict: times for bedtime, exercising whenever possible, waking up, eating, etc. It's not as strict as "The World's Strictest Parents" O_O, we cut loose, too.

My parents are doing their roles as parental figures, so I try not to get in the way or else I'll annoy the heck outta 'em V__V""" They were raised with a firm hand as they did with me so I let my parents to the parenting, but when they don't, I try to help my brother. Thanks for the advice, everyone