Broke boyfriend is straining me out - feeling hopeless

You don't have to say anything more to convince us that this guy is just going to keep bleeding you. But you keep thinking that things will change. They won't. But I don't think you are ready to let go.

Also, you are wanting to convince him that you are justified in getting out of this situation of always subsidizing him. You will never never never never win that argument. He will always out talk you. If you are waiting for him to say, "Yeah, I suppose you are right." - that's never going to happen. He will milk you and milk you until you literally have nothing left to give.

This guy is not even respectful of you and what you are doing for him. Actually, users never do respect people that they are able to use.

All you are is at the top of your boyfriend's patsy list. Being on a person's patsy list is not love, not a relationship, it is just being a patsy, and as you are finding out that is financially and emotionally costly.

Do "not" be on anyone's patsy list.

You might want to try an experiment. Let's say you are just too soft-hearted to throw this guy out of your life. So don't. Let him stay where he has a roof over his head and food in the refrigerator. That keeps him from any serious danger. However, DON'T give him any money. See where the relationship goes. If he commences into nagging you to give him money, then you will see how much of his interest in you is based on that. If you don't give him money and he becomes moody and unpleasant, which is my guess that he will, you may find that he is not so lovable as you think he is.

I know you believe he really loves you. At some level, he probably does. I'm not saying that he is a monster. But see how loving he is, or isn't, when you're not playing Sugar-Mama. You might find that his interest in you starts to slacken. That will hurt, but it's better to know the truth, now.

I don't think you can depend on some supernatural message from the great beyond to tell you what you need to do. You're going to have to figure that out yourself. A million people telling you to dump him won't make up your mind for you. And . . . really no one has the right to tell you that you'ld be better off without him. Maybe you would be too lonely. IDK.

The one thing that people who are more experienced in life because they have lived longer will tell you is that guys like this don't change. Free-loading is this guys whole approach to life. It's what he knows how to do. He'll stick to this approach as long as it works as well as it is for him. It's a case of maybe he could change if the bottom fell out of everything. It's like a drunk who has to hit bottom before there is any slim chance of changing. I've been in your shoes. You are actually harming him. Life teaches us lessons and some we have to learn the hard way. He is relatively young and still learning. But you are putting yourself between him and the natural consequences of his irresponsibility. So you deprive him of the lesson that life can teach him. I'm not saying he would learn necessarily, but there would be more of a chance.

It's interesting that his family "puts in small amounts of money." That could be the root of the problem right there. There was something in the way he grew up that kept him from ever standing on his own two feet. His brain is wired to always look for security from someone else. He's probably been doing that his entire life.

I think your just holding out hope that he is going to change and be a responsible adult ... It's a very common thing to do when you are in a relationship with a person like him .. hes a master of manipulation... You and only You can decide when enough is enough. Until then I suppose you you just need to keep paying all the bills and utilities and food etc...

I do hope that when you have had enough that you have the finances to find a new place to live or he leaves the home your already paying for .

best wishes

You are not responsible for him financially, emotionally, physically, etc. You may love him and enjoy being around him. However, you still have every right to have firm boundaries about not supporting him financially. It sounds like this isn't just a one time bad string of luck, but a lifetime of bad financial decisions. He is an able-bodied person who can go out and get a job ASAP. It may not be his dream job and it may cut into his music time, but so what? Right now he needs to figure out a way to earn some money ASAP.

I know it's hard not to feel guilty, especially since you care about him. But he is responsible for his own actions. If you disappear from his life, he is either going to find someone else to take care of him or he is going to figure out a way to earn some money. Necessity is the mother of invention...