please help me see more clear

I met a girl at a club her an i were having sex we both decided in being prepared for the worst because she was going to college and i was starting my new business so we only had 2 months of knowing each other and i had told her that we should be always per cautious , little after 2 weeks into 2nd month she is pregnant. So i told her okay well lets take the morning after pill and she told me that she did not believe in any contraception for woman and i told her well what did we agreed to. She didn't listen so i told her my mind set where i stand with my work that it would be very complicated for her to actually be with me due to me always working. So she still decided in having my princess today , but prior to doing a blood test and confirming she is my daughter we split up because she had sent her ex boyfriend a text mesg that she missed him and loved him and that all she cares about is her him and her daughter. which that was like a low blow to me because i set my mind to having a family and she dazed off with a young 18 year old kid. Yes at that time she was 21 years old i was 27years old. So after the drama i saw my daughter and i figured in what the hek i should give it another shot but this time im going to try harder. I helped her with school i got a place close to her parent home, I bought her a car, i paid off all her credit cards, I took care of her so she can progress independently but with my help. Now we are here again 8months into the relationship and i re laps every so often i think about what she did and i cant stop throwing little dumb comments to her when she does a mistake i tell her to help her self be more independent so she can help me if my business ever goes BK... but I don't see no ambition in her I gave her 2 of my personal bills to help me pay for them and till this date she hasn't even tried . I honestly haven't told her i love her in a easy 7 months I don't think she is a bad person , but i feel like we just don't connect. I need a direction we just got a hold of someone at church to help me and her connect I really dont know how that would play out. Since im a factual person I would really want someone to give some wisdom so i can help my self , to be able to help my daughter mom if we are really meant for each other or not. Thank you all

Ryanrami, so here goes honesty and bluntness.

First, I am sorry that you found yourself in a difficult situation and I am impressed that you want to do right by your daughter and that you've helped her mother.

I'm very confused by your message. Don't know if you want to "do the right thing" just because it's right, or if you love both the baby and her mother and want to try to make a go of it as a family. That part was a little vague.

If you want to really make a go of it, maybe one of the most important things you can do is seek some help for yourself so you can get over feeling resentful at your girlfriend for not using birth control and getting pregnant when you'd both agreed that was unwanted. I hope you were using condoms. The person who isn't prepared for a child is the one responsible for preventing it and for men that means using condoms and not relying on the woman to us BC or the morning after pill or getting an abortion. That's just reality and something to think about in the future. If your GF doesn't believe in BC and if you're still having sex, then it's up to you to use a condom every time.

Can you forgive her for not telling you the truth about her feelings regarding a woman using birth control? If you can't, it's unlikely this relationship will work.

Frankly, she sounds very young and possibly immature. You can't make her more responsible or mature by giving her bills to pay, especially when they're your bills. If she flakes on you, you're the one who will be damaged.

I applaud your efforts to try and make this work. If you can get counseling through your church, I think it's an excellent idea. If she doesn't want to participate, it would be good for you to go yourself to get help with whatever feelings of resentment or disappointment you may have.

If the relationship just can't be made to work, then I strongly suggest you see a lawyer to secure your paternity rights, such as visitation and decision making regarding the little girl. It means you'll have to pay child support. If the two of you decide to handle it privately, your GF can change her mind at any time. Even if you don't want to go to court at this point, it would be good to have at least a single consultation with a lawyer to learn about your rights and obligations.

I wish you the best of luck. Please remember that even if you and your girlfriend can't work things out your daughter is a innocent in this matter and having a good and loving father will be a real asset in her life.

Good luck to you.

I'm willing to bet that she's using you for your money and the things you do for her. Maybe its time to reassess things? If your business failed, I don't think she would be there to support you. Be there for your daughter, but as for the relationship, that's something you'll have to examine seriously.