[User Name]

I came to this new location for work. For past one year I was online friend with this guy (nothing romantic, just friends) who stays in this location. I'm completely new to the place and its culture and when I actually moved here, I was relying on this online friend. We shared so much in our chats and talks, I always made sure he isn't alone anytime. Any problem he faced, I would be there for him at anytime, any hour, even if it meant to be awake whole night. He did acknowledge it.
But, ever since I've come here, things have gone bad to worse between us. I had expectation that he will be my support here, but he would come for my help only when he could easily spare the time, which meant in my 1st ten days he came only for 3 hours. I had to search for my accommodation, shift on my own, shop on my own, etc etc. So, finally one day out of anger I told him that I'm doing everything on my own, so he needn't help me. He got agitated that what else can I do for you, he doesn't understand how difficult it is to settle in a new place with entirely different culture.
Anyways, I'm now settled. So, was bit calmed but then things at work started going all wrong. My boss is making sure that I don't get due credit of my work. I called this guy to talk about all this and take out my frustration (not on him, just talk it out by discussion) and he cut the call stating I don't know how to talk to my boss. He didn't even listen to everything.
I accept that I might be wrong or may be since my work culture is different, my thinking and expectation is also different. But, was it right on his part not to listen to me, when at everystep and every problem of his life I've been standing there for me, even if it was difficult for me to manage that time for him.
I'm feeling so lonely and am hating myself. I wish I was dead but I don't want to commit suicide.

[ptangptang]

I don't think you have done anything wrong and you were being perfectly reasonable in expecting his help and support in your new location. For whatever reason he isn't giving it to you and i think you should have a frank and open discussion with him about it. I guess online and irl relationships are different with diff expectations and paradigms. If he doesn't want to be part of your life, move on. As you are somewhere new do everything you can to make new irl friends. Join clubs , societies etc. Trying to rely on someone who is so grudging in his support is a waste of time. Lots of other people out there who would love to get to know you i'm sure. At work? hmm could be cos its a diff work culture. Time works wonders and once you settle in it'll prob work itself out. Good luck. Lve and peace xx

[Panda_eyes]

Hi
I agree with ptang, to have certain expectations from an online partner is dangerous for the heart. Online Relationship Responsibilities are different, I guess this means it's easier to walk away or get uninterested when another interest appears.
Having said that, it's also not an excuse for what he has done to you. He should be more sensitive towards your feelings especially now that you have moved to a new place and your concerns at your workplace.
What's next? Move on as ptang mentioned.
Many online friends out there to be made, and part of the fun is filtering the weirdos from the genuine ones.
Btw it's common to work under bad bosses, give it some time and I am sure something will pop up. Remember, You just moved to a new place! New opportunities might just be around the corner!

Good Luck!

[Fuzzybear]

[User Name]

Thanks a lot for replies. My relationship with this online friend is always turbulent. We both are frustrated and have huge expectations from other person. We fight a lot, to the extent we have deleted all ways to contact... but still something or the other happens and we get back together. We have started saying our relationship is a very special one, where we fight but yet reconcile. Like small kids.

I hate fighting with him, his ego and lack of understanding irritates me. I don't feel comfortable discussing my problems with him, yet he is only one I can think of when I want to share something... Things are bit complicated and I can't understand my feelings

[User Name]

Moreover, I'm asexual and he is sexual. Initially he tried to kiss but seeing me crying he stopped. That day he left in anger but then he calmed down and said we will be just friends. From then on, a part has become easy for me. But I'm still lonely and wish I meet with fatal accident

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by User Name

But, was it right on his part not to listen to me,

Had he made any kind of commitment to you before you moved that he would help you when you relocated?

Just because you are nice to someone doesn't mean they are going to be nice to you. Your expectations of him coming through for you were based on hope. You didn't really know this guy. Now you know him a lot better. He's not a nice guy. He took advantage of the time, attention and understanding that you offered, but he has no interest in reciprocating. That's just the kind of person that he is. You didn't know that before, but now you do.

People get to decide how giving they want to be . . . or not want to be. Some people who are not very giving have no qualms whatsoever about letting others give to them.

Don't think so much about dying. You deserve life.

I'm sorry you age going through this loneliness in a strange place. No matter where you are in the world, there are nice people nearby. You just have to find out who they are. Try to find ways to to connect with people in your new location. I promise you there are strangers who would be willing to help a person new to the area find her way around. But don't overly depend on the Internet to connect you. Talk to people at stores where you shop. Ask questions of neighbors. It takes time, so be patient. Usually, people like to share what they know about their corner of the world to a stranger who asks for guidance.

I hope things get better at your job. Wait a while before judging your boss or anyone you work with. I've found that 6 months after starting a job, I've often found that people were way different from how they seemed when I was new to the job. Try not to lose hope. It takes a lot of courage to do what you've done. People will find that interesting about you. Give them a chance.