[Emma737]

I have been with my boyfriend for just over a year, to be precise its about a year and two weeks. Recently we have been arguing abit. We didn't celebrate our anniversary because i got the impression he didn't really want to. We are only 17-18 yrs old and i know that sometimes he gets abit freaked out when it comes to things like commitment. I know it isn't because he doesn't want to be with me but all of his friends are single currently and i know that sometimes he thinks that i think we are going to be together for ever and i want something really serious but i have explained to him i know we only take it one day at a time and i don't expect years and years of serious relationship seeing as we're both still really young. However i was farely disspaointed that he didn't make any effort towards our anniversary. i didn't say anything though. I brought him as a present later on in the week a nice desinger t-shirt, i thought he would like it because it wan't too serious and i know he would like it. He took the t-shirt told me he liked it but i never really got anything back, no card or anything. Just on the day of our anniversary "happy anniversary" and a kiss. A week later a large group of us went out on a big night out for somebodies birthday. One his friends hurt my feelings and my boyfriend didn't stick up for me. I got abit upset and it did end up in a very big row. Things have only started to back to normal now. i Don't know what to think anymore. We sent a few mobile messages during a few days and he said he didn't want to break up but he does think our good time maybe over. I didn't understand though because all the other times we have had arguments he hasn't ever thought about breaking up. Its like he does want to be with me but doesn't want anything serious. Its really hard because i can't say anything about it to him because i am afraid of what he will say. I have noticed that ever from our big row he doesn't say i love you any more and he is slightly moody and short with me. When i am with him he doesn't really give me much attention. When we are walking round town shopping or on lunch he makes excuses why he doesn't want to hold my hand "i just want to put them in my pockets for abit" is what he says. Yet he says he doesn't want to break up with me. I am so confused i just don't know what to think. What could i do to make him realise how much i mean to him one reason its so hard is because i know i mean alot to him but he just won't show it. i just need something to open him up alittle and i don't know how. I don't want years and years i see it as you take one day at a time because we are still really young.

it is really getting to me and i am feeling really sad about it because i do love him and means so much to me. what bothrse me the most is i know he loves me otherwise he would have broken up with me the night we had the big argument it was the prime time for him to.

Has anyone got any advice please i would really appreciate it!

[Audrey]

Emma, relationships can be confusing. You said yourself that you don't want to be together with him forever. People at 17 can be really confused. If he has a problem with holding your hand suddenly, it might be because he feels like it is a mandatory thing to hold your hand, and he might be trying to rebel. and just becuase you get into a fight and he doesn't break up with you is not definite proof that he loves you. (I'm not saying he doesn't) It might just mean that he wants to think about it when he is feeling more clear headed. Well, every couple has their arguments at times. But at 17 things are a little bit more random and immature.

[JessF]

I know this is a rather old post, and I hope things have gotten better since this topic first began. I think I have can understanding of how you feel. He may be freighted by the mature emotions you exhibit and is unable to communicate his feelings, maybe? Ultimately, I think there is noting much more you can do than make him understand what you hope to gain from his companionship.