[Gracey1]

Hi guys, first time posting here. So this is a really heartbreaking time for me. My OH and I have been together for almost 3 years. It was an epic love affair like in the movies, we really "get" one another and we have been through hell and back many times, (his illness, a miscarriage etc) but we survived it all ad we became even stronger.We planned to get married next year. But now it is all gone.

He is the kindest man I know, warm, funny intelligent. Also, he is bipolar. The love/respect support were all there but the relationship was an emotional rollercoaster, he suffered highs and lows, confusing sentiments, constant panic attacks clinginess. Last year he lost his business, his mom got diagnosed with cancer and his best friend died. He always had his problem but it was manageable. Now it is not, he is spiralling out of control to the point I worry about his life. He is incapable of working or seeking help, he doesn't medicate, he lost all his friends and he clings on me for life. I also supported him financially for the past few months. It got really bad and he decided he can not stay in town any longer. He can not afford it anyway and as long as he remains without help his life is literally in danger.

He is moving back to his country tomorrow. He is going there where his family is because according to him I am the love of his life and he was reducing me to a nurse so he is going back to where there are people that can look after him so that he can be close to his mother. I knew that was going to happen for a month now. I also know it is for the best. I tried my best to help him but I can't. He claims he is coming back as soon as he is back on his feet, still wants to marry etc but that could take a very long time. Up until now we kind of ignored it and we enjoyed the time we had left but now that I have said my goodbyes and read the letter he wrote me it suddenly hit me.

None of us wants a long distance thing so we agreed to treat it as a break but he has every intention to stay in my life and I am not sure if I can handle that. I have no idea how to handle this. I am heartbroken and constantly being on the phone to him doesn't really feel like a break. I love him to bits and the thought that I may never be able to hold his hand again disturbs me. The thought of him possibly meeting someone else there makes me sick to my stomach. I hated the goodbye scene it was awkward and left so many things unfinished.

Worst part is since we are still in love and he has been a very decent guy (he treated himself badly but he treated me like a princess) I do not have any resentment or anger to distract me. Just a sense of loss. And I know cutting all ties might be smarter but I can not abandon him while he is in such a deep hole. He agreed to be hospitalized upon his return so it really is rock bottom. How can I possibly handle this? Technically he has not left the country yet and I miss him with all the bones in my body.
I would appreciate any help/advice/support/insight I can get.

[Blue_Bird]

Hi Gracey1, I'm sorry for all you and your significant other are going through right now. I hope things improve, I don't really have any advice on this matter but I'm sure someone will come along who does. Hang in there.

-Take care,

[Gracey1]

Thank you Blue Bird. I really hope someone has some input. It has been getting worse. He is actually leaving today and he had a restless night bombarding me with texts and phone calls since 4 am last night. He is broken and crushed and doesn't want to lose me. On the surface I pretend to be the strong one but inside of me I am really sad myself. Very bad situation