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#1
Dec 17, 2014, 02:46 PM
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I won't do a super long rant, just want some general feedback about what to do about MIL. I have only known her for 6 months because she was estranged from DH for over 10 years, like my mother she's an alcoholic so I don't really feel comfortable being around her and definitely not around our baby (8 months); however I gave her the benefit of the doubt since she says she changed (she still drinks, just not at bars as much) and DH is trying to reconnect again, the problem is I asked her to her face point blank if she had a problem with me and she said no, but DH told me pretty much everytime she gets drunk she talks about me like dog! The one time she called me a "that" (DH is white, I'm black) and then said I was trying to take him away from her. So she "apologized" to me through him and now I'm supposed to make nice and invite her over for xmas
 I just want to be done with her and move on. So should I yet again sweep all this under the rug or stand my ground and move on?
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 Little Lulu
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#2
Dec 17, 2014, 03:39 PM
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Ouch - your MIL sounds like someone you definitely can't trust (good call on your part) and maybe the booze is more of a problem than you think! That said, you wouldn't have known what your MIL said if your husband hadn't told you so maybe the conversations should start with him. His job should be to defend you and your marriage and tell her emphatically he will not accept any negative talk about you from her. MIL may be a problem but she is not the most important issue here. You relationship with your husband is.
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 ~Christina
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#3
Dec 17, 2014, 08:07 PM
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Your husband needs to make it super squeeky clear to dear old Mom that he will NOT tolerate her speaking about you in such nasty ways, Whether she is drinking or not, does not matter.
I do think your husband should have just handled the remarks she made right then and there and really was no reason to tell you about it. Your husband needs to make it clear to her that she needs to be sober and be gracious to you for allowing her into you and your husbands "home" <~~ this is not sweeping anything under the rug , This is taking a stand . If she misbehaves well then she can leave right then and not be welcomed back ever again. Boundaries ! use them 
__________________
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