[sinking]

This whole thing with my family and especially my dad - continuous daily fighting about the cats (that i love more than anything else and are my reason for living), may seem silly but its causing me lots of stress, hurt feelings and exasperation.

to the point im seriously considering getting drunk and self harming in front of them or even killing myself just to make them SEE what they are doing to me. or spare myself the pain of living as i am now.

my mom fought her battle for moving for years and this year she finally won.
i am shattered beyond words. she stepped on me and destroyed my world.

my dad has been fighting his battle to get rid of the cats and he is getting closer and closer. im sick of giving in, especially when the living beings i love the most will suffer because of him. he says "either the cats or me" and i would choose the cats. now im tempted to say "if you throw out the cats i'll throw out myself too".

he does have his reasons, my mom did too, but its too much for me. i know this could seem all trivial but its all i got and they are tearing it all apart. i hate them and i cant and dont want to go through this.

i dont know how anyone could help, but please, some help?

Hello sinking: I'm sorry to hear things are so difficult for you. My wife & I have a "schnoodle" (a schnauzer / poodle mix). He weighs in at about 15 pounds. He's black with kind-of a "wash" of gray throughout his coat; & he has a white bib. He's about 10 years old now. We both dote on him. I can't imagine what it would be like if one of us wanted to get rid of him.

Your concerns are not trivial. Your cats are the only thing you have to hang onto at this point. I take it, from what you wrote, your Mom moved out & left you with your Dad. Is that correct? If so, this has been a major loss. And so to strip you of the one thing you have left (your cats) is really insensitive.

I do hope you can find the strength to carry on despite your present difficulties. I don't know how many cats we're talking about. Do you have allot of them? Is there a possibility of keeping, perhaps, two (assuming you have more than that) & finding new homes for the rest? I don't know what your father's reason is for wanting to get rid of them. But I wonder if there is something else you could do to make him more comfortable having them around.

I also hope you might have an opportunity to receive some therapy services. From what little bit I know of your situation, it sounds as though your cats are, to some extent, symbolic of the overall loss you have suffered recently. It could be useful to have an opportunity to talk this through with someone who is skilled in dealing with the effects of loss. My best wishes to you.

[sinking]

Thank you. im glad to hear someone understands my infinite love for my pets. and you also hit it on the nail saying they are the symbol for my loss even if in a little different way than you got it.

maybe i wasnt very clear: we all moved into a new house, but it was because of my moms decision. its interesting though that you made that association because like my former T used to point out, i used to see my Home as a mother, sometimes more than my own mom. i almost have stronger attachment to objects than people, so the loss was greater for me than it usually is for anyone with healthy bonds with people and objects. and i do feel as if i have lost a family member. anyway, i mentioned it only to let you know how much else i've been through recently.

my dad never wanted cats and in the other home it wasnt a big issue even though he used to complain often too but now he's using this move to achieve his goal of throwing out the cats. maybe they would adjust in the end, even if its getting colder, but it hurts ME and i find it cruel for them, after all the efforts and stress we all went throught to help them accept the new house.

i would accept a compromise: 2 cats out and 1 in for the night at least, but he refuses to listen. i dont want to give in once again. i have lost everything with this move, i dont want to lose this battle too. its unfair.

i hope talking a bit here will help - its already helping. thanks. i dont want to go back to T.

[~Christina]

I feel for you, I was once in about the same situation. Is it possible for you to keep your furbabies in just your room? I know it would cut down on there space to roam and probably be very cramped , but maybe an option? I know many cats that will walk on a leash so you could provide them with exercise.

Hurting yourself in front of them really isn't going to help matters and killing yourself certainly isn't an answer to any of this, but you know that of course and that's the stress and panic talking.

I only bring up the T issue because maybe that would be of help in your case of keeping your cats with you... T's understand that animals are most often the source of unconditional love. Maybe its possible for your T to help explain to your parents why the cats are a good healthy part of your life.

I hope things improve and some kind of arrangement can be made

[sinking]

Thank you for understanding. tonight i brought him inside in secret, he slept in my room and in the early morning when he had to "go" i let him out and locked him out so that my dad wouldnt know. this is not a soultion though. i'll try talking with him again. this poor cat now stays hidden in my room because he's afraid of being locked out again. i hate it for him. the other two are outside and ok.
im not seeing my T anymore. i hope my mom and i together will be enough to find a compromise with my dad.
Thanks for caring and giving me hope there will be a way to solve this.