[metalchick]

My boyfriend of 14 years has been so mean to me lately. He does not talk to me, pick up the phone, even listen to a message that I leave for him. (I don't call very often) There are no more hugs, kisses or even a hello unless he wants sex. This has all started since he became "friends" with a girl who is 20 years younger than him. He drops everything for her. If she needs something he is there. Constantly calling her and now he is trying to find her a house near us. He even neglected to pick up our daughter from school because he was too busy speaking to a loan officer for her. We used to go to parties together and now he does not want me around, then I find out she is there. I didn't even know she existed until his mother who was visiting told me about her. My kids tell me she comes over the house too. I get this awful gut wrenching feeling when I know they have been together. I told him it's me or her and he just replied that I am ridiculous. He keeps calling her. He has gone out in the middle of the night to pick up her car and the list goes on and on. He started dressing nice, wearing nice smelling lotion, going to work early and going everyday(he is always late or calling out) I feel like he is sneaking around and lying about how he really feels about her. I feel like I have lost my best friend and the relationship is over. I can't eat or sleep and I get so mad...I don't know what to do. I want this to work for the kids sake.

[IceCreamKid]

Cut to the chase with him and set up an equitable visitation schedule with your mutual child and support if you have made a home for him all these years and not worked for pay outside the home. Get yourself ready to start supporting yourself if that is the case, and insist on support in the short term--and child support, including how your daughter will get higher education. Then let him run off with his lover. You might be inclined to fight for him; to put up with his lies and crud while he goes through his mid-life "I want young chicks now that I'm getting to be an old man" stuff--but keep in mind he might bright home sexually transmitted diseases, and the two of you are modeling life for your child: he's modeling cheating and you would be modeling….what?

You deserve better than he is shoveling out.

[~Christina]

[davidshq]

Wow. I'm really sorry, that sucks. Dr. James Dobson (Focus on the Family) wrote a book called Love Must Be Strong. It encourages one to bring the other person into a place where they have to make a decision - they can't just keep screwing around. Dobson is a Christian and the book is written from that perspective, but I think no matter your beliefs that it would be a worthwhile read...though it has been a year or so since I read it.
Hang in there...while sometimes it doesn't feel like it, there will be light at the end of the tunnel.
Dave

[kindheartedxo]

I think you need to stop with the assumptions and just get on it . The more you sit there and let it happen the worse its going to get . you already know what's happening . He clearly is lying . you deserve better don't let no man cheat on you . sit down and have a serious talk with him. Tell him how you feel and everything you basically just said of what you wrote in this paragraph and be very serious don't give in to him and let him off easy. Be on his ***. And it would be better to not have a man like that in your life then even for the kids . I'd rather be a single mom then have kids and the father is out cheating doesn't look good. Let him know you will leave you need to give him a taste of his own medicine and give him a reason to be scared . If you really want him and the relationship don't sit there and let it happen . do something about it. Get rid of the woman let her know he is taken and he is not single . Be very clear to your boyfriend . This is not right at all and no one deserves to go threw this . You shouldn't have to either . sit down and person and have a long good serious talk tell him you know the truth and its quite obvious. If nothing changes after leave him . Your not worth his time if he wants to cheat and go behind your back !! Don't stay with someone like that !!

[kindheartedxo]

Don't let him take advantage and walk all over you . That's exactly what he is doing. Take a stand and fight back.