Parents and what to do

I stopped communicating with my parents in early January of this year. Some background: my mother was very abusive when I was a child, and my father ignored the abuse (and pretty much me). They also treated my younger sister as though she was God's gift to mankind while I only received negative attention.

I've been coping as best as possible for my adult life with the help of therapy. My folks travel a lot, so even though we live nearby I didn't see them a whole lot.

Anyway, when I was no longer able to work, in 2013, they suddenly ramped up the criticism and judgement. It was making things so much worse, so I cut them off.

Lately, though, I find myself thinking about them more and more. I know they will never give me the approval and love I sought as a child. They will never change their ways. But I still love them, and even miss them.

As the holidays grow near, I'm considering getting in touch with them again but simply don't know how. I don't want to talk to them about why I stopped talking to them. I don't want to tell them how I've been doing. I just want to be able to attend family functions and be cordial.

Any ideas?

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Maybe you could write them a letter, saying what you wrote here--and see what their response is?

That's a good idea. I'm not sure what state they're in right now, but maybe they're having their mail forwarded. :-)

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