Cruel and Disappointing

Yes, I recently realized that HE is my trigger. Great, right?
I, also, made a couple connections myself, since he only wants to answer questions that he wants to answer, and is perfectly fine ignoring me until I change the subject to something that he wants to divulge....
SO. With these new connections that I have made, I have all of these realizations...
Oddly enough, I made these connections while UNMEDICATED. Shocking, right?
Anyway, this guy does not want a relationship. So, all of my questions are pretty much gone.
He had sex with two girls in the last three months. When did that happen? Before or after he got drunk? Was it while he was still kissing me? WELL... I think it happened after. He was not kissing me. He was acting different and more distant. Guess why! He was having sex with other girls. Big shocker there. I don't need to know the answer to that question, anymore. Well, I don't need to know HIS answer. Because I know it. So. That question's gone.
Secondly, does he still like me? I answer that, now, with a resounding "Does it really matter???". Obviously, it does. But, right now, it really doesn't. He doesn't want a relationship. He kissed me and had sex with other girls, while tentatively talking about a relationship with me beforehand. No, it does not matter if he still likes me. Because what would that do? Give me a reason to be in another "pseudorelationship" with him? That he doesn't even want, anymore, BY THE FREAKING WAY! Or a relationship? No. Not that, definitely. He just wants to screw around. Literally. Sooo, maybe he does. Maybe, he doesn't. Does it matter to me, right now? Nope.
Does he still want to consider a relationship with me? Well, I think the better question here is "Do I still want to consider a relationship - any kind of relationship (Pseudo- or actual/official; friendship aside!) - with him?". NOPE. I don't. Because, although I love him dearly, I feel like I was just a phase to him... And he's moved on. And I feel kind of stupid for not moving on, too. But whatever. He's still my best friend. We can still flirt, but - seriously - this emotional trauma HAS to be over.
So... To sum it up... It makes sense, without his help... And, you know what, I can cry about it all day, all night, and still have something to cry about in the morning. But I didn't do anything wrong. If anyone's crying and feeling regret, it darn well should be him. So, I'll leave the crying to him. I choose to laugh. And whether he cries is up to him... Ha ha ha!!!
Life is good. -Big Fake Smile-