[DbryanYES]

What the heck is going on with this girl?
I met a girl on this app and we chatted for a little while. I waited about a week to finally ask for her number just so that she would be comfortable with me. A few days later, I called her to see if she wanted to go to dinner and then movies. She said yes and from the sounds of her voice she was pretty excited.

We were supposed to go on a Monday, but work kept her late. I understood and we rescheduled for Tuesday.
Tuesday night, she tells me that her job is keeping her late but we could get a bite to eat later after she gets off. I never got a call back from her so I assumed she was no longer interested.

Wednesday, I decided to back off and go my own way until she calls me late in the afternoon, she calls me saying how sorry she was and how she felt so bad. the fact that she called me meant that maybe she really did have ****ty luck and she was not standing me up. I asked if she wanted to give it one more try and she agreed to catch dinner later that night. We kept in contact that whole night. But after work, she told me that she felt self conscious and tired and we should try again tomorrow. She told me that she promised that she would be done early from work. I was getting annoyed but trying to be understanding, I agreed.

That Thursday, I texted her. Nothing. I called her and still no reply. I made a few more sporadic attempts and did not get a single reply from her.

I have been screwed in the dating game, but this was some bull. Why would she call and apologize for standing me up only to do it again without even an apology or explanation? Am I getting catfished?Did she die or get hurt in an accident? At the very least, she could have taken 30 seconds to message me back that something happened. If she was not interested, she should have never called me back.

[~Christina]

Just move on. You have wasted enough days on her, Sorry this happened to you.

[hamster-bamster]

She told you that she was feeling self-conscious, which was very weird, because normally such things are not shared with somebody one is yet to meet in person. So she is very weird. Rejoice that you have not invested MORE of your time and energy into this could-be relationship. Do not try to think about what she should or should not have done - a person who keeps postponing dinner dates talking about feeling self-conscious is too weird for your logical analysis. Just drop this case, and if she ever contacts you on her own, tread very carefully if at all.

I would be asking did you see a picture of her have you both done the video chat to know if she is a real girl because it sounds like your being played .

[ptangptang]

Yeah mate just move on. Give up on her. Online dating will drive you crazy if you let it. People do it for all sorts of reasons ( a lot of them not very nice). Be yourself, be nice, treat people how you want to be treated and know when to give up on someone.

[Rose76]

She's a person who just can't commit to a commitment. She meant it when she said she wanted to get together. But she has distractions popping up and she can't juggle things. Then she is embarrassed to call and tell you.

A person like that is just unreliable. Everyone who knows her has a story like yours to tell. And she's not going to change. Sometimes, she doesn't know what she wants. Sometimes, she wants two or more competing things. Every day, she is completely surprised by things that come up. She shows up late for every place she has to be. She has excuse after excuse. She's learned to claim that work was her reason for bowing out because that's how she's salvaged her self-respect.

She may even be a lovable soul, in her own way, but I promise you she's a pain in the behind.

[Angelique67]

She might just feel ugly even if she isn't. And afraid to take the plunge and risk your rejection. That's how I read it anyway. Unless she can be convinced to take the risk, she'll be too afraid to actually meet in person.

[Rose76]

You really don't want to date a girl who is going to be crushed, if it turns out that you are not totally attracted to her. If that's too much of a risk for her, then she she should stay home.

[DbryanYES]

Originally Posted by Nature1968

I would be asking did you see a picture of her have you both done the video chat to know if she is a real girl because it sounds like your being played .

I talked to her on the phone so I have heard her real voice. She is a girl, but she did what she did for whatever reason and I have to move on.

[ombrétwilight]

^ Good for you - it's time to move on. She doesn't sound like a very reliable or trustworthy person, and at least slightly peculiar if I may. Consider yourself fortunate you haven't wasted more time on this road-to-nowhere.

[DbryanYES]

Originally Posted by ombrétwilight

^ Good for you - it's time to move on. She doesn't sound like a very reliable or trustworthy person, and at least slightly peculiar if I may. Consider yourself fortunate you haven't wasted more time on this road-to-nowhere.

Thank you. I find the fact that she did not even call or text to tell me that she could not make it, that made me mad. I felt disrespected. After she postponed the second time, I took that as her way of backing put of the whole thing all together. Then she calls me the next day and apologizes. I feel like she never wanted to meet me. This was all for attention and a boost to her ego.

[shortandcute]

I wouldn't make too big a deal out of it, since you never even officially met her. I mean it's not like you were in a long term relationship with her and she cheated.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by DbryanYES

Thank you. I find the fact that she did not even call or text to tell me that she could not make it, that made me mad. I felt disrespected. After she postponed the second time, I took that as her way of backing put of the whole thing all together. Then she calls me the next day and apologizes. I feel like she never wanted to meet me. This was all for attention and a boost to her ego.

Maybe.

Maybe not. See Angelique's post on the first page of the thread - maybe the girl WAS self-conscious. It still means that you are better off having moved on (because as somebody has written, you do not want to date a girl who gets crushed just because some random dude off an app does not find her super attractive), but it does NOT mean that she was trying to get attention and boost her ego. It may mean that but does not have to. Maybe she got cold feet.

As a lot of people have recommended, you need to MOVE ON.

Moving On does NOT mean analyzing and re-analyzing this situation.

Moving On means shrugging your shoulders with "whatever" and thinking about something else.

because in reality you have never seen her - you have only talked to her and written to her. You do not have enough information to go off of to classify what happened with any certainty. So - "whatever" is the right response.

A lot of situations do not provide us with sufficient information to classify them. This is just a fact of life.

The reason I am writing to you at length about it - if you adopt the "whatever" approach - you know, shrugging your shoulders and rolling your eyes - you would become much more casual in your interactions, and being casual and lighthearted would help you strike conversations with girls who would want to see you and who would not do what this girl did, whatever her reasons were. So lighten up!