Fielding questions over why my partner doesn’t come to things & impact on friendships

My partner doesn’t come to social things with me. Unfortunately people expect my partner to come along so keep asking why he doesn’t come and don’t accept my explanation that he’s not social, will probably never come along to things but I’m more than happy to come on my own. Not having children is also an issue even though I never expect people to not bring the kids and even suggest child friendly activities. Then I get left out of things and become the occasional friend.

My partner and I do have a problematic relationship (communicating using correct techniques, encouraging him to talk and suggesting we book in regular special activities together hasn’t worked). So I’m wanting to build my own friendships and community. Thus being constantly asked why he doesn’t come then being left out is difficult especially as he usually doesn’t like the friends I make but I don’t want to say “actually he doesn’t like you”. It’s also upsetting for me that my partner won’t make the effort.
As we don’t do many things together I also feel boring as I don’t get to do many things (I do regularly join short and long term activities to get out). But I can’t magically produce a man and kids to bring along. However single people see me as being a couple which puts them off.
I am gentle and softly spoken. However I have been to see a therapist and do not have any personality disorders and until recently no depression.
A single friend of mine has suggested I say I’m single but that’s not my true situation.
Any ideas I guess for both fielding the questions so they don't continue then I'm left out and building friendships on my own (as everyone seems too busy to admit new people into their lives)

Don't wait for questions and then you won't need to field them. Be proactive instead.

Usually, the invites where you RSVP allow you a place for a comment - so say that you will be coming alone, on your own, and are much looking forward to the gathering, or something along these lines.

I wonder if you are hanging out with the wrong set of people? For the most part, my boyfriend and I keep up separate friends because we are both interested in things that the other one is not. I like plays, he likes motorcycles. I go out without him all the time and don't find that people hassle me over it.

I would start with trying to be okay that you have separate friends. Doing women focused stuff might help too -- stuff where it is expected that you won't turn up with a mate.

Hi Hamspter yes I'm up front with invitations that it is only me. HVert you've hit the nail on the head when you refer to it as "hassle me" as it is more than simply raising it and accepting my answer. I think the issue is that hubby wants a bloke to talk to and as I don't produce one doesn't want me around and the woman doesn't have time to see much of me separately alone. I think I'll throw it back onto them noting they keep asking me, I accepting that he doesn't come to things and thus is it a problem for them. At least if it's hubby's issue and she's too busy to see me on her own I can suggest I'm ok with him inviting a male friend or we make it s bigger group with more couples or men. And target single women and try to get across I'm not welded to a guy's hip, maybe even not mention my living situation but focus on other topics

I think that for new contacts, not mentioning your living situation for a while but focusing on other topics would be a great strategy.