[~Christina]

Okay this has confused me a lot lately....Many threads sparked my interest.

Seems many people snoop on there significant others phone,computer or Facebook ect because they doubt the partner is being loyal to them and not cheating, right?

Can someone explain to me if there are people cheating why aren't they deleting their texts messages and or Pictures? Or deleting emails? or not flinging themselves all over Facebook with suspicious behavior? Maybe they enjoy the thrill of sneaking around ?

I'm sure many people simply don't care if they get caught or not, so why delete anything , I get that deal.

But the ones that just want to have their cake and eat it too ??? Are they just oblivious of the fact there is a trail of breadcrumbs to follow and eventually most partners get suspicious?

Anyway.. Just wondering what other people think about this type stuff.

Thanks

[Little Lulu]

Maybe the cheaters are so caught up in the thrill and drama of the 'chase' that the consequences of getting caught are insignificant or non-existent???

[StressedMess]

Maybe the stalk-er is so convinced that the stalk-ee is guilty, they turn even innocent things into proof.

Also I agree with you, if you're going to cheat at least be smart enough to hide it!

Or a really original idea, if you can't remain faithful don't agree to an exclusive relationship and save the hurt.

[ifst5]

Maybe it's the idea of trust within a relationship that leads the guilty party to think that their partner wouldn't go snooping about without being dragged into the mud themselves...I mean cheating is one thing but if someone has invaded another persons privacy that hardly puts them in a good light either. It gives the guilty person a bargaining chip; 'Ok so I broke your trust but you broke mine so there.'

Either that or the person cheating isn't really that bothered by being found out - i mean if they're cheating anyway they're clearly not happy and bound to end the relationship eventually.

These stand out as the most obvious reasons to me but there could be any number of them really; revenge, laziness, forgetfulness...

But one thing's for sure; if someone's cheating and their partner has to go snooping around to find out, both parties are hardly in the clear and need to examine whether such a lack of trust is a good basis for continuing a relationship.

[Skywoulf]

often it is the thrill of "perhaps getting caught" or the thrill of doing a taboo (I know old fashioned term) thing and seeing how long they can get away with it.

myself? well there is only enough of me for one person.

[healingme4me]

If you're bound to snoop, there's something in the relationship going unaddressed.

For instance, intimacy could have ended for months or weeks, add an argument or something to the mix, suspicions rise. Another could be, having a jealous spouse, constantly accusing, leading to the accuser having their privacy violated...there's tons of probability.

If you have to check, there's something missing. And if you leave a papertrail...best wishes...

[Skywoulf]

another option, if you are already guilty, might as well do the crime and get something out of it.

[~Christina]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

If you're bound to snoop, there's something in the relationship going unaddressed.

For instance, intimacy could have ended for months or weeks, add an argument or something to the mix, suspicions rise. Another could be, having a jealous spouse, constantly accusing, leading to the accuser having their privacy violated...there's tons of probability.

If you have to check, there's something missing. And if you leave a papertrail...best wishes...

This wasn't a thread about "me" . Just a general thread based off numerous threads from posters unfortunatly in the snoop or be snooped on situation.

I really count myself lucky that I don't need to concern myself with these types of problems in my marriage.

My heart goes out to those that do

[healingme4me]

Sorry for the misunderstanding, meant 'you' in the plural sense.

I'm fortunate to not be in this type of predicament, at this point, in my life.

[hamster-bamster]

I wondered too.

I think that people still do not realize that there are breadcrumbs online and via cell phones. Or maybe they realize it but behave as if it were not the case. I do not have another explanation.

I simply cannot picture a similar situation in the "old world". Would a person scatter around snail-mailed letters from a lover whom they are trying to keep secret? I doubt.

[StressedMess]

lipstick on collars, unfamiliar perfume, working late with the secretary, weekend business trips, hang-up calls only when one partner answers, receipts for things that never got home, well these are a few of the things that my mother used to be on the lookout for; pre-tech days.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by StressedMess

lipstick on collars, unfamiliar perfume, working late with the secretary, weekend business trips, hang-up calls only when one partner answers, receipts for things that never got home, well these are a few of the things that my mother used to be on the lookout for; pre-tech days.

Yup. I remember reading in an issue of Playboy in the 1990s how American Express stopped being an accomplice for adulterers when it started itemizing receipts. Playboy advised readers to use cash and not to tip generously to avoid being remembered by waiters. But the thing is, in a world where nobody uses cash, sudden ATM withdrawals might also be a giveaway.

Another thing is that, I thought, most families have family plans from the mobile providers. So I cannot see how one can start receiving calls from the same # without getting noticed.