[lebestiole]

I've always been a loud girl. Strangely enough I grew up in a house full of love and support (parents were divorced, but it never affected me... i think) yet I've never been able to keep my friends. It's like after a while they realize that I have nothing to offer, or they just get bored. It really hit me because since I was a kid I've been a loyal person, so it was really sad for me to see my friends talking **** about me behind my back when I used to give them as much love as I could. My family pointed out that sometimes I was loud or bossy, sometimes I could be even rough with people, but I never wanted to annoy anyone, I thought I was being cheerful and funny.

10 years later and I can't change.

No matter how hard I try I always end up laughing easily and for longer than necessary, or I just burst into a frenzy and I cant stop being all over the place, talking to people, being too "childish" and just acting as if I were crazy. It's awful and I can't stop and it just happens. Why? I don´t want to be like this, always asking for attention. I'm just plain annoying. People look at me with this big, mean eyes and I can't blame them, I've earned it. I'm always saying strange things that normal people just wouldnt say. Sometimes I even come off as rude, but I just don't know how to stop this! I seriously don't want to be obnoxious or irritating. I just want to make them laugh so they like me back.

I know that I'm not a likable person and it's pretty awful, I want to live in piece with this knowledge, but I can't.

Help?
Oh! And forgive my clumsy english, it needs practice, I know,

[hamster-bamster]

Your English is fluent and highly idiomatic; the sentences flow easily; the punctuation is almost perfect; only one typo. I would say that for your age range, and, given that we live in an era of text speak (i luv u c u), your English is better than that of an average native speaker. Not just on a par, but better.

So not clumsy, not, not at all.

The reason I am writing about - I am wondering whether you are as excessively critical of your manners as of your English. Because you know - writing - also a manner of expression, and you write playfully, fluidly and succinctly. In your writing, the voice is not loud; in your writing, you are not annoying; in your writing, you are being appropriate.

So it could be that you write far better than you speak face-to-face, or, it could be that something else is at play and you are not clumsy in interactions with friends. What would you say to this? Do you write better than you speak, and so, is it because you are not trying to make anybody laugh or like you better?

[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by lebestiole

I've always been a loud girl. Strangely enough I grew up in a house full of love and support (parents were divorced, but it never affected me... i think) yet I've...ractice, I know,

Actually you sound highly likeable, and it is interesting that you feel a great need to be liked but you believe you act in ways that make it harder for people to like you.

I would not be surprised if actually people do like you but get a bit exasperated because you are more 'full-on' than most, and you interpret this as rejection and dislike.

Anyway, whether I am right or wrong, you seem to be an unusual person and it may take a while to find your niche. Good luck!

[hvert]

What if you try to tone it down a bit? At the very least, it would let you see whether it makes a difference in how people respond to you.

I also am trying to change how I act in social groups and it's hard to do, but with practice, I am getting better (I am trying to be less negative, less blunt, and more talkative). Even just recognizing when you say something that turns people away helps.

When I am around a loud person my wildness comes out and I become very crazy I have it all bottle up inside it's very catchy at least for me it is .