[BubonicPlague]

I don't want to be the "clingy girl", but I can't help but talk to my friend everyday.

The thing is, he's a friend I can only talk to online. He lives in a far away state and he is my only good friend. I'm not close to anyone in real life, and I feel like I am especially close to him.

There's been times when he hasn't been on, and I'd get worried that I did something wrong and made him upset in some way. I'd ask him over and over again, and he'd say he was fine. I usually end up sad if he isn't there, and then I'm happy if he is. I can't stop thinking about him sometimes and worry.

A few times I've annoyed him doing that.

I've praised him so much how he's been a good friend to me, and how he understands my issues. He's a very fatherly figure and does care much for my well being.

I don't really want to lose our friendship, it's not like I have anyone to relate to in life at the moment. I would be very sad if we were to go our separate ways.

[healingme4me]

It's hard, when friendship base is limited to just one or two people.

Does he compliment you back?

Thing I've learned of men, through the years, ego rubbing tends to become uncomfortable. Eventually they come to enjoy a mental challenge. I refer to what you describe, as the ego rub. Sometimes I've seen the ego rub play out as 'mirroring' them. It's not necessarily that they want' chase', it's that they don't want the pedestal as much.
Humanizing them, helps.
As far as asking, if you've done something to push away, substitute with, is everything ok? Just practice curbing that asking him.
If feeling clingy, perhaps you just don't want to lose the good about yourself feelings, being admired even as a friend.

[BubonicPlague]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

It's hard, when friendship base is limited to just one or two people.

Does he compliment you back?

Thing I've learned of men, through the years, ego rubbing tends to become uncomfortable. Eventually they come to enjoy a mental challenge. I refer to what you describe, as the ego rub. Sometimes I've seen the ego rub play out as 'mirroring' them. It's not necessarily that they want' chase', it's that they don't want the pedestal as much.
Humanizing them, helps.
As far as asking, if you've done something to push away, substitute with, is everything ok? Just practice curbing that asking him.
If feeling clingy, perhaps you just don't want to lose the good about yourself feelings, being admired even as a friend.

No, he doesn't really compliment me except for my looks, when he sometimes flirts. Now that I think of it, I haven't really been told what's good about me. He does help me out with my issues though.

He usually won't tell me anything if I ask if him what's wrong. Sometimes he won't speak to me online without reason after a day of talking to him. It usually goes on for more than a day, and then I ask him. He will only then reply a little bit saying that he's not in the mood.

What do you mean by "curbing" and "humanizing"?

[healingme4me]

Curbing asking, means working on not asking if anything is wrong.

Humanizing, is to keep from putting him on a pedestal. He's sure to be a good guy and all, just be careful in how that's approached. For instance, all too often, people can be quick to self judge, pull apart their own character defects, but without seeing the other person as having flaws. Takes two people to form friendships and other relationships, and two sets of personalities and personal history. One may feel they are the only one contributing when there's a struggle. When it's each other's styles that contribute. One person may be reactive, the other withdrawn and without vocalizing feelings. The reactive can't be all 'wrong' , per se. Being withdrawn is similar to avoidant.

[BubonicPlague]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Curbing asking, means working on not asking if anything is wrong.

Humanizing, is to keep from putting him on a pedestal. He's sure to be a good guy and all, just be careful in how that's approached. For instance, all too often, people can be quick to self judge, pull apart their own character defects, but without seeing the other person as having flaws. Takes two people to form friendships and other relationships, and two sets of personalities and personal history. One may feel they are the only one contributing when there's a struggle. When it's each other's styles that contribute. One person may be reactive, the other withdrawn and without vocalizing feelings. The reactive can't be all 'wrong' , per se. Being withdrawn is similar to avoidant.

I do feel like there are some things that sense are wrong. I just don't know who else to go. Everyone has their own things to do, and it's not like I'm really included in anything outside of school life except for family. However, they're not always around.

[healingme4me]

Is coordinating plans with one or two friends, locally, possible? I'm reflecting hard on my late teens. My parents, unless I had plans, sports or movie nights,etc, would drag me to Maine, every weekend. My stepdads father passed away in my early teens and he felt obligated to help his widowed mom, plus my mom enjoyed tending to the house, with cleaning, cooking and seasonal landscaping..
There was no unlimited talk and text back then, never mind internet,which came when i was in college. That said, coordination was key. With the right combination of a variety of friends, plans as simple as window shopping at the mall, going to movies, which is pricier now immensely, having them over, you over there, takes time, but maybe you don't get last minute planning, but coordinated planning instead.
Sometimes when you want something badly enough, gotta be a go getter. It's also a networking skill. Isn't easy,certainly a challenge.

As far as him only complimenting looks, but not core attributes. Guys like that are a dime a dozen.

[Fuzzybear]

[hellboy]

You might want to read up on codependency. You put yourself at risk over-investing in one person.

Hellboy

Have you thought about joining a support group dose your school have one or your town ?

[BobbyDavis]

Honestly, I don’t think you should get too close and dependent on a person you are talking to online because they could easily stop talking to you tomorrow and you could never hear from them again. I take it you have never met this person face to face so I would be careful and maybe talk to a family member about this.