[FreeBird98]

Over a year ago, I had an affair with my BF's best friend... He also happened to be my bf's sister's husband... He was already a serial cheater, but it was my first affair after 12 years of loyalty. I considered him a friend since I have known him for so long... I can't even begin to come to terms with what I was thinking. He is the exact opposite of everything I find appealing in a man, yet he fed me some BS compliments and I fell for it... due to low self esteem and not feeling wanted in my own relationship after 12 years. I also just think I was insane. I went crazy and started going to the bar and getting drunk and lost tons of weight...

Afterwards, my bf and I decided to try to work it out. We got married and had a baby and we're happy. However, my affair partner (his brother in law) still tries to contact us... he still claims to be in love with me... his sister hates me and won't speak to either me or her brother. She also stalks me... creates fake facebook accounts and tries to become friends with my friends and starts messaging them horrible rumors about me. She's trying to destroy me. I get that I betrayed her... But i was her husband's 4th affair. She will not divorce him. She forgives him.. I don't expect her to forgive me, but why is she obsessed with me over a year later? will this ever end? she tried to contact people at my job to spread rumors about me. I don't know what to do. Contacting the police is out of the question, because it requires a police report and I don't want it getting out that we have this screwed up love-rectangle...

I just feel that if I show remorse and will not speak to him and admit what I did wrong, why is she still hunting me down yet he blatantly says that he has NO regrets and still loves me and everyone is fine with him. What the heck??

[Webgoji]

It sounds like she's lashing out at you because he's still pursuing you (if I read that correctly). Her anger is partially misdirected. Also, it sounds like someone needs to take him out back and introduce him to the game of t-ball.


That slime needs to leave you alone. This is only my opinion, I would make sure that both of them understood, under no uncertain terms, that he is not to &^%$ing contact you even if the %$#&ing world is burning! If he keeps it up, you might want to consider a restraining order against him to show him you're serious about it.

And why is your husband okay with him contacting you in that way?

[FreeBird98]

My husband is not ok with it. I do not answer calls or respond to messages from him. I always end up blocking whatever he contacted me on. My husband knows this... he tries to contact my husband still too...

[~Christina]

How did this affair become public knowledge? Did you tell someone? Were you caught together? Someone told someone obviously.

It doesn't matter if you were the 4th one he cheated with or 104th , Maybe you are the only one he has cheated on her with that she can actively try to hurt you job wise and emotionally? Maybe the others she is unable to track down.

Whether she stays with him or not is none of your business.

As far as her husband contacting you. Tell him in no uncertain words that you are not interested and never will be. Stop answering your phone if he calls , don't respond to Emails and by all means cut any and all contact with him across the board.

So you worked out things with your BF now husband ? What does he think of the "bf"? Is he still in contact with him? and if so , why on earth would he be?

As for you Facebook fake accounts drama.. make your page private, if you get an invite from someone you don't know, Don't accept it.

Your sorry and have shown remorse, which is the right thing to do... But saying your sorry doesn't always fix things, maybe down the road a relationship with your Sister in law will be possible or maybe what has happened is something she will never be able to get past. I do hope that she and her brother are able to salvage some sort of relationship out of this mess.

Wish you the best

[FreeBird98]

We were caught by my bf and he told her right when it happened. She won't speak to him for getting back with me..I did block her on FB and my page has always been private but she still contacts people on my friends list and spies on the profile pic which is public.

I blocked his number from my phone... i made it clear that i don't want to speak to him and haven't in about 9-10 months. My husband hates him and does not speak to him but he also wants his sister to stop trying to mess with us, our baby, and my job....

[healingme4me]

Has your husband told his sister, in no uncertain terms, that her lashing out is only doing more harm than good? Clearly, she's hurt, after all her husband cheated and you are the other woman, however, she's going to need some couples counseling to move past this. Harassment is Serious. Eventually, if you and your husband don't fan the flames as active participants in this, she'll burn herself out, quite literally.

You made a mistake, owned it, and as husband and wife and child, are trying to move past it, and live your lives. Eventually, others will grow tired of the melodrama. If others confront, simply sigh, say something like oh no, not again...and end the conversation.

[ChipperMonkey]

So why is your friends list not private, viewable by only you?

[FreeBird98]

Originally Posted by ChipperMonkey

So why is your friends list not private, viewable by only you?

It is, but she contacted friends that liked/commented on the cover photo and profile photo which are always public.

[cryingontheinside]

I feel sorry for your situation. This lady is very unhappy and very insecure. Was you close with her before? Maybe the other girls didnt know her or she didnt know them. She may feel that you betrayed her. But mainly its not about you, she hates her self, shes to insecure to leave the relationship. What she is doing is wrong. She is going too far.

[Neptune83]

I think you are probably the only person her husband slept with that she actually knows, so you're getting the brunt of all the people he's messed about with.
You made a mistake, you feel remorse, you are sorry. Ok, you screwed up, but so did he! To me, I think this isn't your problem, it's hers. It's not your fault he's slept with other people as well.
I don't know how you can get her off your back. Solicitor? Restraining order? That way you can keep it more private than reporting her to police.

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[hannabee]

Yes, that's it....get a lawyer to write a letter to stop harassing you or you will sue her in civil court . Maybe have the lawyer preface it with an apology from you. Right now all she has is a cheating husband and no brother....what do their parents think of all this or do they not know about it? What a mess! Good luck to you.

[FreeBird98]

But what can I sue her for? Getting on my nerves? Telling people at my work that I'm a cheater? I don't know...Their father isn't in the picture and their mother is mentally unstable. She only speaks to one of her children at a time and right now it's his sister...she hasn't even met her grandson...my husband speaks to his younger sister who slso stays away from his sister and mother because she doesn't want them damaging her children with their drama and nonsense.

[Neptune83]

Harassment. Is the short answer to that.
I would think, if she's really behaving as you say, and she is literally never leaving you alone to the point of making fake accounts on social networks to make your life hell, going to your place of work etc. spreading malicious rumours about you I would think is slander, so really there's possibly a couple of things you could frighten her with. A solicitor will be able to confirm what precisely you can do. I don't know where you are, but many here in the UK offer your first meeting free, to give an outline of why you're there and for them to inform you whether they can help or not and what that will cost.

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[FreeBird98]

I'm in the US. I'm probably going to have to spend some of my maternity leave at a lawyer's office...what a damn shame. Thanks for your advice!

[cryingontheinside]

Yes it harrassment for sure, especially calling your work. Good luck. I hope the situation improves for you.

[Neptune83]

Yeah, pain in the arse maybe but at least you may be able to get it sorted and live your lives in peace.

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