[UCLAFan]

I'm the type of person people call to when they have problems etc.I am a people pleaser. I grew up taught not to express my feelings and just do what i'm told etc.I'm to scared to say no to people. The few times i have helped people over and over again and then when i can't. I get called the B word and stuff.I'm told by old friends that i'm to nice at times. But i don't want people to hate me or to get in a argument. But i'm tired of being used by people. Been dealing with health issues for a year and half now and at times don't feel well. When i tell some folks I can't talk long because i'm not feeling well or don't answer the phone all the time. Because i'm napping when i'm not feeling good.I'm told i'm selfish and uncaring.But i need my rest etc.I guess people think since i helped them out once and i try to be friendly and caring. That i'm a pusher over and that i can be used.I burnt out on always being the nice one.

[Wants2Fly]

Hi UCLA --

I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling well for a long time. Quite a few people here have chronic illnesses, some quite severe. I am lucky that mine is only debilitating in annoying ways, rather than really painful and incapacitating.

I think a lot of people run into the problem you mention when we try to establish boundaries with people who are used to walking all over us. I worked with a therapist to learn a few techniques. The first time I told my mother that her belittling remarks were not helpful and I would have to hang up, she hung up on me.

But even though she's in her 80s, she caught on fast. In fact, I'm better friends with my mother now than I have ever been in my whole life.

It doesn't always work out that well for people, but the important thing is that you are establishing boundaries and taking care of yourself.

Good for you. Keep going.

[UCLAFan]

At times i have a lot of energy and others i feel slugish.I went out Saturday felt dizzy and fell. Then had to sit down to not fall again.

[Wants2Fly]

Hi UCLA -- Have you seen a physician about this? Falling down is not good, as I'm sure you realize by writing this.