[Alia8560]

My brother killed himself in 2012. We were the closest things to each other. It was completely unexpected. Since then, I have had the hardest time keeping people close to me. I used to be able to make friends with everyone and talk to people and get to know them and help them but since then I can not hold onto anyone that comes close to me. I have pushed people away, I don't go out with people anymore, I don't date anymore. I have tried over and over again and I just don't know why I can't. Can anyone help? I am starting to feel more and more alone and it is very hard. Especially now right before the holidays. Thank you guys.

-Alia

[Yismymindblank12]

You are still grieving and I find it best not to focus so much on dating and just making very close bonds with people friendships close friendships. You lost the most important friend in your life whose been with you all this time, I wouldn't blame you for how you felt. Frustrated between the struggle of wanting a relationship and being alone. I don't know if this will help you, but I was told in my struggle with grief that, find people who will accept you as friends and keep those bonds closer when you are at your worst when you are not dating. If you are dating, date someone who has gone through this and is more healed than you. They would know how to empathize and mold to your needs emotionally easier than someone who doesn't.

It's easier when someone can relate and be there for you and support you even at your worst and not be pushy or mean about it or take it too personally. Also I'd say if you need to keep on taking a break, just listen to your heart and don't date or think about it. Don't let people in unless you are ready to let them in.

It'll be much easier on yourself.

I struggle a bit of this myself.

[hvert]

Could you let yourself be okay with shallower relationships at the moment, just going out with people or doing things you enjoy with someone? Yismymindblank is right that you are still grieving and it may just take more time. I think if you can sort of keep in practice by being around people, even if the relationships are not that deep, it may serve you well.