[MiddleChild83]

There's obvious favoritism in my family. My parents, especially my mother, favor my youngest brother. Im the middle child and the unfavored one. She prefers to have dinner with him, she is more generous to him, more patient with him. If there's family news, im the last to know. One time they brought my mother to the hospital because she was ill. Nobody contacted me in the office or on my mobile. I didnt know about it till i got home from work, then i went straight to the hospital. Then my mom said "im already in the hospital and you dont even know." She said it like i have no care in the world. Then she compares me to my younger brother.

Sometimes i'm resentful of him already. Sometimes i don't want to see any of them, i spend more time at work, with friends, or somewhere else. I wonder sometimes if my mother was ever proud of me. Because she's so proud of my brother and posts it on social media, but not once about me. Sometimes im just angry at them, which fuels the distance between us even more. I dont want this, I want a closer relationship with them, but it hurts too much sometimes.

What should i do? I don't know how to deal with it sometimes. It's been this way ever since we were little, and now that we're adults.

[hvert]

That sounds really difficult to deal with. If you google for words like 'scapegoat' and 'golden child,' you might find more information about this phenomenon. A lot of people find themselves dealing with this kind of family dynamic.

[LacunaCoiler]

I feel you completely! My sister is perfect in my dad's eyes and my brother is the second coming of Jesus in my mom's eyes. This is something I'm trying to work through in and out of therapy. It really hurts to want their approval but at some point I have to accept that they'll never see me the way I want them to. Sure it hurts to think that, but I won't be happy until I just accept it and move on to making myself happy instead of trying to please them, which wouldn't matter anyway because I'm not my siblings.

So, I feel you and I wish I could give you better advice.

[Olanza-what?]

Im not going to get into being the middle child which I am. Its way to painful for me. I relate totally to your problem. My siblings use to try and smother me, or drown me in the toilet. Don't know why they hate me so to speak, but I don't give a _ _ _ _ any more either. F---- em!
Only when something bad happens to me do they appear. No doubt they love me, they just dont like me.... and I am ok with that.

[Olanza-what?]

Boy is my bipolar shinning thru today! Im on a roll. To all the Middle Childs out there: "Let Your Middle Finger Shine".

[IrisBloom]

Hi Middlechild. I am also a middle, but I don't think it has anything to do with the way I was treated, and still am. I'm in my mid 50s and I have learned to just ignore the fact that I can't do anything right and my sister can't do anything wrong. It's just my dad's opinion, after all. I know who I am and what my good qualities are, and my faults, and nothing and no one is ever going to make me feel bad about who I am. I do get upset at times and get depressed, but it's not about how anyone thinks of me (at my age I don't give a hoot), it's about being in a negative atmosphere.

I hope you can learn to cope with it. You will never change them. You can only change how you deal with it. Don't internalize the negative things. It might help to write your feelings about it, and make a list of the good things about you. Try to add to the list frequently. Keep it with you and refer to it when you feel your self confidence slipping. And try not to worry about being accepted by your parents. Just be the best you that you can be and be happy with you!