I keep making things worse

When I try to talk to my husband about things that have been upsetting to me he just can't seem to understand how much I just want to have things better. I keep saying I want us to be as nice to each other as we would be to another. I suffer from past struggles that I want to get over but have been coming to my mind anyway. I want them to go away. I want to feel confident that they do not have to be repeated. I want to know that we won't struggle like that again but that we would each make the effort to just be really nice , sweet, kind and friendly. This went ballistic because it was like too hard for him . I wanted improvement and it just went sky high worse. I suffer real physical pain as the events turn inward. I feel even worse. I would like to get over the pain but trying to deal with it turns out to be something else. I hurt. We did some decent things today but old problems want to rob the good. I wanted some kind of agreement that things would be better . Ouch!

Have you thought about suggesting that the two of you see a marriage counselor? It sounds sort of like one or both of you need a counselor to help you iron out the issues that are causing problems for you.

My struggles seem to grow but I have talked about all this with my counselor. I am so stirred up because there are so many problems. Not just with my husband but family hurts seem to just abound . I keep bumping into troubles. I think we are trying though.