I want to be able to show pride in something with out my mom belittling it.

I've come to discover my already disfunctional family is much worse that I realises. My mother is pretty mentally abusive and a narcissist. I know she is paranoid, she thinks the neighbors can hear your cell phone conversation on a baby monitor even people who don't have kids she'll say they are listening. Anyways.... She hates my husband, I think because he is like me and "weird" also he's in the military and we don't live locally. Everytime I want to show pride, say how great my husband is or what a great father he is she cuts me down. She has even gone so far as to tell me he reminds her of my dads father, my grandfather who was mentally and physicly abusive to his whole family... My husband isn't manipulitve, we have discussions, he has never touched me or the kids in an abusive manner, that's just not him. Any time I say something about how amazing he is for his military service my mom says that my stepfather is a cop it's the same thing. Cops are awesome, they have a very hard job, and honestly don't get the credit of the pay they deserve but it's not the same thing. If I say that my kids act or look like my husband or his family my mom will freak out, my sister I law has a kid about the same age as my first, eveytime my mother sees them I have to hear about how she thinks that kid has problems. The list of people my mother insists are "high functioning autistic" is very long. Pretty much if you aren't exactly like her she assumes you have a problem. According to her mine is a controlling husband... It's not.

I am working on these things, I've never been a big social networker i never post status updates. I'm building boundaries that should have been there long ago, I'm learning to stand up for my self and tell her the things she doesn't want to hear. I am resisting the urge to call her up and scream at her or drive home and slap her because I know that will not fix anything and will just make things worse. We aren't talking at the moment because of some very hurtful things that happened before during and after the birth of my youngest, it's hard because I'm so mad but at the same time I wish we were going to be with relatives for the holiday.

That was a long rant but I like putting them here, at least someone knows what my life has actually been like. At least some one knows that my mother isn't the victim of a psycho daughter. Sorry off topic just really hurt right now and just trying to live a strong and healthy life for my husband and children.

Your mother is entitled to her opinion.

As much as you are entitled to totally ignore it.

You are married to good man and have children.

What does your mother have, besides raging negativity?

Are you willing to accept the fact that being angry merely strengthens the bond between you and her? That it takes energy and attention away from YOUR family?

If you want to scream, scream.

If you want to hit her, get a punching bag.

Do what you can to be there for your guy and your kids. As a wife and mother, they are the priority, not listening to her drivel.

Quote: "We get the behavior from people that we
are willing to put up with without protest, your
silence is CONSENT."

Thank you both, it's just been a very long toxic relationship that's coming to a head now. It's hard to stay strong. She was always my resposablitliy, and I would never put my kids thru the life I've had. I feel like the bad guy.

I'm glad you have your own family to spend the holidays with. I wish you luck in resisting the urges to call

Well that's kinda what put me in this mood, had to call and thank her for the kids presents. It wasn't a good call