[labyrinth572]

I know it's not uncommon to become irritated with family, especially during the holidays. That's one reason why I agreed to housesit for a friend, so I could be away from my mother.
However, these feelings have no proper venting place... My mother is going through a rough time because her dad is going to pass away very soon of a fast working cancer that we only found out about a month ago.
I feel so selfish to be feeling this way, and yet I also don't know how to act around death. I am not close to my grandfather, bc he lives far away... and also bc his religion pretty much took over his personality. He's a lovely sweet man and will be missed... but I'm used to his absence.
I feel like such an unnatural person... often when something truly terrible happens to people I don't feel bad. When my cat died, I wept. When I watch a sad movie, I cry. But when this stuff happens, I feel confused. I guess I don't love my family members strong enough to grieve...
I want to do the best possible thing for my mom, even if it's not her idea of what is best. I think that would be for me to be away from her for a while. My anger and irritation towards her might subside if we didn't live together.
But I wonder if she thinks I'm cruel for not being with her now...

[sideblinded]

This is a hard one for sure. It always comes down to taking care of ourselves when we cannot handle our own life struggles. This might sound selfish to you but it isn't. If you don't think that you can be around your mom right now.... how are you going to help her? Does she have others who can support her? I think you will be there for her when the time is important enough. Right now a time out might just be the cure. Be gentle on yourself.