[guilloche]

I just needed to voice this somewhere. Thanks for listening.

I'm sad. My sister and I have always been close, despite living in different states. We used to talk every week.

I know that she's *busy*. I know that her job is incredibly stressful and she's working a lot of overtime. The last thing I want to do is to add to her stress.

But... I didn't get to talk to her today (Christmas). I tried calling her, and she didn't have voice mail set up on her new phone yet, so I couldn't leave a message (and she didn't pick up). I sent her a quick email, telling her Merry Christmas and letting her know her voice mail isn't set up.

I didn't even get an email reply back.

So, I'm sad. But it's more than that. It's that we rarely talk anymore. When I call, she doesn't answer. Sometimes she calls me back... but lately, she just doesn't. A couple weeks will go by, and then I'll call her back a second time to try to get in touch.

We've gone from talking once a week to talking every 4-6 weeks.

It's really hard for me to feel any sense of connection like this. And, frankly, she's the only person in my family I feel connected/related to at all (the rest of them are crazy, I keep in touch, but it's really painful/stressful.) I just don't feel connected like this...

I don't think there's anything I can do. I've mentioned it casually, but don't want to create more stress for her.

I almost just wish I could move to the other side of the country and disown my entire family, I think it would be less painful . I feel awful for even thinking that, but... *sigh*.

I don't think I need advice, just to be heard... and maybe some hugs. Thanks.

--->

[guilloche]

*Thanks* Nature and Greylove... for reading, and for the hugs! No email response this morning either... I was thinking she might check email in the morning and and least reply, but nope. I guess at least I've got something to talk about in therapy this week...

*thanks*!

I have had the same problem with people not getting back to me , and you would think with all the great technology people would respond faster , nope they don't .

Takes 2 min. to e-mail someone

I wish people would watch the movie " Click " there is a part where the son see's how he was so busy with life ( work ) that he never payed attention to the people who loved him .

[Rose3]

There could be so many possible reasons for the no reply.
Maybe your email didn't get through.

[guilloche]

Thanks Nature... yeah, you'd think. I get why, in some cases, people don't email back right away - sometimes they just need a little more distance in the relationship. I take a couple days to respond to emails from my mom like that, because I don't want an "instantaneous" connection with her - it's a bit too much. But I *do* reply, eventually!

Thanks Rose. You're right, there could be alot of reasons. And, I'm great at coming up with possible reasons... I'm just working on "feeling my feelings" since apparently I don't do that very often (per the T). And it still makes me sad - not just the email, but the whole pattern and lack of communication. It maybe doesn't affect her, but for me, I start to feel like I don't know her anymore and like we're not close/related. It's hard, but I don't want to stress her out more by telling her she needs to talk to me more.

Thanks!

[unaluna]

If she got a new phone, then if she's like me, she forgot her old password and had to get a new email too. I used to be a computer programmer, but i am an idiot on these phones and email.

[avlady]

Sorry to hear this, you know one thing that maybe true is she is busy,maybe shes afraid because she lost her job or switched jos etc,,,, also maybe she met a man, and wants to wait to tell anyone, just suggestions!

[lkbun14]

I'm so sorry to hear this! I know sometimes you just need to get things off your chest and get some perspective. I have a number of friends who hardly ever respond to an e-mail, but I still continue to send them! They've told me later how much the quick notes have meant to them! I don't know if your sister feels the same way while she's so busy? I know it's hard when you don't hear from her.

It's ok, maybe her job is stressing her out so much that she finds it difficult to call u up or keep in touch. Once her voicemail starts you could always send nice little short messages

[guilloche]

Thanks everyone, I appreciate the support and all the thoughts. I actually did get to talk to her late last night, so that was nice... but honestly, I still feel like... like I can't really count on her to be there. It's fine, I'm in a bit of a weird place right now anyway... and trying to make an attempt this year to go out and meet people, so that I'll have some local friends I can count on. (My friends have been dwindling - people keep moving away!)

I'm off tonight to go to a meetup! A little nervous, but it's to play board games, so hopefully that will be a bit easier than having to talk to a bunch of strangers with nothing else going on!

Meetup's are always nice