[CLaNK9656]

Well, after a series of failed relationships, i'm losing my trust and am giving up. They all played me like a violin, and just cut my strings. I'm lost and afraid. Will i ever find someone who will treat me right? Why is this happening to me? I feel like there's something wrong with me. It's like why even try if i know i'm going to get hurt again. These lessons in love aren't helping me. In fact, in every relationship i've been in, they all ripped my heart out. They dropped their bombs on all we built. And now they're just watching it burn. What should i do? I don't know if i can trust anyone with my heart and my emotions. This is driving me insane, and I just need some advice. None of my friends can help, and are instead putting it aside.

[Artchic528]

I understand completely. I, too, gave up on love. Can't be bothered with all the stupid senseless games being played.

[~Christina]

Relationships are just tough. Are they all falling apart around the same place meaning "stage" in relationship?

I honestly would see a therapist to find out and process how your relationships are ending, it's tough to just get up and dust yourself off and move on after things end, Therapy can really help you figure things out.

Welcome to PC

[divine1966]

sorry you are struggling, I am struggling myself too. my issues are that i find men who are just like my father: emotionally unavailable. therapy might be helpful, share your family dynamics and they might point out where your issues stem from. hugs to you

I'm with you in giving up on relationships. Maybe after a few years you will be ready to try again. I would hold off for now to protect your (my) heart.

[Artchic528]

Well...the budding romance tends to fall apart around the same time, that is, when I express my feelings and the guy says "I'm not ready for a relationship". So yeah, what can I do? I just wonder why I keep falling for guys who aren't interested.

Anyways, I went to a meetup a few months ago for Anime/manga lovers and there was this guy who approached me and asked me where he had seen me from before. After a bit of back and forth, he and I finally agreed that he saw me on POF, an online dating site.

Is this any indication of interest? Or am I looking too much into things?

[CANDC]

Christina's idea of getting a therapist (t) is a good one.

Often when we are ready to give up on seeking a romantic partner that will make us happy for the rest of our life, we are at a point of maturity, having been burned enough, not to believe the solution is out there somewhere, but somewhere inside. That is where a t is a specialist that knows the landscape, inside.

[divine1966]

Originally Posted by Artchic528

Well...the budding romance tends to fall apart around the same time, that is, when I express my feelings and the guy says "I'm not ready for a relationship". So yeah, what can I do? I just wonder why I keep falling for guys who aren't interested.

Anyways, I went to a meetup a few months ago for Anime/manga lovers and there was this guy who approached me and asked me where he had seen me from before. After a bit of back and forth, he and I finally agreed that he saw me on POF, an online dating site.

Is this any indication of interest? Or am I looking too much into things?

have you explored any family dynamics? are your parents happily married? i know i fall for wrong guys who are just like my dad and i never had good relationship role model as my parents don't have good marriage. try to see why you look for wrong guys

[Artchic528]

I have a therapist already and I've briefly mentioned wanting a relationship with a guy to her in passing. She basically asked where I saw myself in 5 years and I said "Living in an apartment on my own, being fully independent, and working as a Vet Tech at a local vet clinic."

She said I had set healthy goals and because I wasn't focusing all my energy on seeking relationships, that I was doing well.

I don't want to go back and say I may have glossed over the fact that I wanted a relationship back then for two reasons. One, I'd have to admit I wasn't being fully honest to her, and two, I'm finding that the empty void I thought that could only be filled with love from another, is now filled with my own joy and happiness. That's not to say I don't require a relationship. I just don't have that insanely obsessive drive to get one, a drive that I guess was the soul reason I was repelling guys away from me like some sort of bug spray, but for guys instead of bugs.

Now my goal is to be myself, which I think, if I were to describe myself in a few words would be kind, spontaneous, quirky, offbeat, and just plain fun. I find myself singing or humming to songs in my head, and sometimes even spontaneously breaking out into dance for the sheer joy of it. I even serenade my lovely furry companions with my dulcet tones on a regular basis, not to toot my own horn or anything.

I have this idea that if I act this way, like my true self, then my quirky upbeat brand of joy will touch some lucky guy's heart and they will be instantly hooked, addicted even, to it and be forever wanting more. I'm basically saying that I will make a guy so intrigued by my happy energy, that they will want to have it be part of their life, maybe permanently if the case were to allow.

So yeah, I'm at the stage of my battle with depression where I've finally "snapped" out of it and am discovering my true self, as it's been like, forever, since I last felt this way. It's high time I become reacquainted with my true self. Dontcha think?

So yeah, if you see a red haired, blue eyed curvaceous woman singing out loud in a store, that would be me. Oh, and feel free to join in. I am always looking to expand my social horizons. Maybe we could make a duet, or, if enough of you are present, a choir? Wouldn't that be fun? Just randomly joining up and singing together at some place like a Best Buy? Let's do it!!

[Artchic528]

Originally Posted by divine1966

have you explored any family dynamics? are your parents happily married? i know i fall for wrong guys who are just like my dad and i never had good relationship role model as my parents don't have good marriage. try to see why you look for wrong guys

Well, Mom and Dad have recently celebrated their 37th wedding anniversary. Their relationship is quite a treat because my mother is the laid back, let things go, choose her battles type of woman, and my father is the constantly complaining, stubborn to a T, not ever wrong (even when he's clearly so), control freak of a man.

Mom tends to eat less dairy and meat, and more veggie alternatives plus loves a lot of things my dad would point blank refuse to touch. While Dad is your basic meat and potatoes type of guy (I guess that's what being raised on a Midwestern dairy farm will do).

I don't see how these two are so compatible, but somehow they work. I do have this nagging sort of fear that they will divorce someday as their differences are so, well, different. I just hope that one day, Mom and Dad have an argument over one of the common fuel subjects (subjects that are an ongoing hot topic, so big that it sends a huge wedge in between them.

I guess this fear arose because I grew to realize that nothing in life is a sure thing, well nothing except death and taxes that is. Anything can change in a blink of an eye. It also doesn't help that I've had a few dreams at night where they do, in fact separate and get a divorce.