[kashiekey]

Hey everyone,
My boyfriend and I have been together almost four years. He recently got a job working every night past midnight, and I never see him. We live separately, but we would frequently spend nights at each others' places. Now that situation has changed, and it's impossible to do that now. We try to see each other during the day several times a week, but it isn't the same. I get extremely lonely and depressed without him in the evenings/at night. I've always had graphic nightmares (that's another issue), and they've gotten worse since we've started seeing each other less. I can't sleep. My insomnia has gotten really bad. I know this isn't healthy, and I know it isn't fair to rely on his presence to help with the nightmares and loneliness. I feel like this is an issue I need to deal with on my own. Can anyone help me? I feel like someone is ripping my heart out of my chest each night I'm without him. I don't want to be that obsessive, clingy girlfriend, and I don't know how to manage these emotions.

[~Christina]

Is there a possibility for one of you to change shifts ? If not , well then you just need to find a hobby or something that keeps your mind busy and off the fact that you have limited time together. Hang out with friends , take a course somewhere on a topic that interests you , art ? writing> book clubs?

You do need to find a way to be happy when you cant see your boyfriend.

Do you see a Therapist? If not that is a great place to learn how to deal with your dependance on him. I'm not saying reduce your love and wanting him to be with you, just avoid being dependant on him to fill a void you have.

Therapy is a great place to learn things about you that you didn't even know about yourself, coping skills to help you manage the times when you aren't able to see him.

I hope your able to find ways to enjoy life even though for right now you guys are just on a lousy off hours situation.

Welcome to PC

[toolman65]

Everything Christina said !

Also;

Doing something physical may help. You'll feel better and you may sleep better. Nothing drastic but something to get your heart pumping. Playing good music also helps.

Yoga, meditation and deep breathing are other options.

I don't know the job that he does, but would it be possible for him to call/text you before you go to bed? Just a simple " I love you and i will see you in your dreams" or whatever, may ease your pain.

Teddy Bears work too!