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  #1  
Old Jan 02, 2015, 05:53 PM
Anonymous49852
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My best friend (I live with her) is causing me to become frustrated when we are together. A lot of times when I try to talk about something she isn't interested and says she doesn't want to talk. Then, approximately 5 minutes later she starts talking about something pertaining to her, usually men. She talks about this same man nearly every conversation.

I always listen to her when she talks, but I don't think it's fair to not be interested in what I have to say and then expect me to want to hear her. This doesn't happen every day. As a matter of fact her mood changes so often. Sometimes she talks to me about what I want to, but not nearly as much as I listen to her talk about a. Men or b. her weight. I don't really care to hear that over and over but as her friend, I listen.

Also, if I try to tell her that she did anything wrong, she gets angry, depending on her mood. When she's in a good mood I usually forget to mention the problem. Is it unreasonable that I'm frustrated?

I actually love her, which is rare for me to care about a person that much.

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  #2  
Old Jan 02, 2015, 06:39 PM
hvert's Avatar
hvert hvert is offline
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Member Since: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 4,889
I also get very frustrated by those situations. I know that I've at times been the person who couldn't stop talking about whatever guy I was obsessed with, and thinking back about that makes me cringe.

Anyway, you are a more patient person than I am because I no longer put up with people who do that. It must be really challenging to live with someone who behaves that way. Have you ever mentioned it to her?
  #3  
Old Jan 02, 2015, 07:40 PM
avlady avlady is offline
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Location: angola ny
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I used to be like thst myself, im sorry for it but if that friend didnt stick it out with me i would have killed myself.. i am so appreciative of that person that listned,, i think after a long time she saved me.thank you to that person
  #4  
Old Jan 02, 2015, 08:13 PM
Anonymous49852
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Quote:
Originally Posted by avlady View Post
I used to be like thst myself, im sorry for it but if that friend didnt stick it out with me i would have killed myself.. i am so appreciative of that person that listned,, i think after a long time she saved me.thank you to that person
I've been asked why I haven't left, but I would never stop being her friend. You can't just leave when something goes wrong or else that would mean leaving everyone because not everyone is perfect. I wouldn't mind if it was just that she didn't want to talk. I don't always want to talk. It's just that the situation doesn't seem fair.

I'm going to stay her friend no matter what. But I might just take some time for myself.
  #5  
Old Jan 02, 2015, 08:36 PM
toolman65 toolman65 is offline
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Member Since: Dec 2014
Location: ottawa
Posts: 182
I have a feeling that even if you didn't live together, she would only contact you to discuss her problems. She displays a high degree of self absorption when she discards your issues so casually.

Does she ask you for advice at all? Or, does she just want to be heard? Friendships must be mutually beneficial, or they will not survive. Anger, bitterness, loathing and resentment will kill it. You're her friend, not her agony aunt. Remind her of that.

If she doesn't get that , then you should stop being so available for her.
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