I finally said bye

Happy New Year to everyone at psychcentral. Here's my story

http://forums.psychcentral.com/relat...er-figure.html

The story continues. Although the members of this forum suggested that i move on from her mom. I just didnt have the courage to do that. I was jobless for a while, after trying so hard to get a job, i managed to get one through her using her as a connection. Since i got the job through her influence and since the people that i used to work with knew her very well, it was impossible for me to move on, so i would continue to talk to her occasionally. And she always assured me that she would always be there to help me.

And a couple of weeks after i posted this thread, i called her up and invited her for lunch. Which she cheerfully and happily accepted saying she cant wait for it. Fast forward a couple of weeks, i didnnt hear a word from her. So i contacted her and asked her when our lunch was going to happen, and her answer was that she was busy and it would happen soon. Instead of saying no, she kept dodging it until i finally gave up. But i still continued to talk to related to workplace problems and such, to get advice. And the friendly loving voice was gone it was replaced by a formal monotone. But she was always there to help.

Now its been almost two years since our split, and last week i called her up told her i was going to cut all ties with her. When i told her the same thing years ago, her reaction was to try and get me to stay. But this time, she was nonchalant and her answer was "okay" and the whole conversation was void of emotion from her. But as usual she tells me that if i need any help she'll be there for me. I feel like a huge weight has been lift off my shoulders.

Hearing her non caring voice is really going to help me move on because now i know im not the same person to her that i used to be. I dont feel devestated, but theres this tiny resentment towards her being nonchalant. And the sadness that shes gone. Although im moving on, a couple of questions still linger in my mind. Why did she agree to meet me and then said no later. Why does she sound like she does not care and still want to look after me. I dont get it. But its good bye.

I can understand why you would have a bit of resentment. The push/pull that she created made it difficult for you to break away.

As far as why she did this, she may not even know why she acted in such a fashion. She may have been more resentful of herself for not being able to break it off. She may have known it was best but not been able to help herself.

I would try to forgive and get on with my life. I know that at some point she cared deeply for you and I feel that even with her being nonchalant that she still does but knows it's time to move on.

I'm glad that you are able to move on with your life. It has been on hold for too long. Hang in there you are doing great!