should I leave my husband

I caught my husband doing porn he said it was because I was boring in bed and he did not love me now he says he said it to hurt me as I caught him out I don't know what to do I cry most of the time we fight a lot been together 25 years should I leave

Try talking to your husband about this if doesn't work out talk with his parents and set out the matter if possible go to counselling with him

No work it out. From a person with a MI and has been alone for 28 years I would definitely say no. He is just looking don't take it so hard. It is not like he has a woman on the side.

If your husband said he no longer loves you then what is the point in staying in a loveless marriage ?

I think you both should try counseling first, how do you reply in those kinds of situations? It sounds so toxic, he's being mentally abusive

I agree that you should try counselling first. There must be more to the situation than just sex/porn. There are many relationships that are successful without the couple having sex.

Perhaps your husband needs to come to grips that sex isn't the only important part of a relationship, that even if you "are boring" in bed, doesn't translate into not loving anymore. Lots of men equate having sex to being loved, whereas women can feel loved without having sex. It's a balance that both of you have to find.

Most people will say that 25 years of marriage is too much to give up because of a little porn or not enough (good) sex.

I would try counseling?
Also I watched porn with my ex and it was really fun.
And trying new things is fun.. (:
Sorry that happened it sounds really hurtful.
I'd rather my significant other watch porn that cheat on me, that's my personal opinion though.

If couples counseling doesn't work, and there's no love, constant fighting and harsh insults, why stay?

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Saying that he doesn't love you anymore is very deeply hurtful.

I would sit down with him and have a nice long talk about the direction you're both wanting to take in the relationship. Bring up couples counseling as an option but don't feel obligated to stay with him because you've been with him so long. If you both feel that going your separate ways is the best option, then decide that together.

Why would she have to talk to his parents? To "tattle" on him?

Couples therapy for sure, Also I feel you would benefit a lot from seeing a Therapist on your own. If couples therapy isn't helpful.. Your personal Therapist can help you see your options and can help you decide what to do.

I hope your able to find happiness again in your marriage

Parents??? So if I watched porn my partner should talk to my parents about it? Gee I would divorce him the next day. Who tells this to someone parents????

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I was responding to what kavya said. Kavya said that, if talking to her husband didn't work out, that Gifford should "talk with his [the husband's] parents and set out the matter." Go back and read what kavya posted; you'll see it, unless it gets deleted first.

I know. I quoted wrong person I apologize . I still don't get it why would anyone suggested wife talk to her in laws about his porn use. Weird how is that their business

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Sorry but did you catch your husband doing porn (filming porn with another female) or watching porn? Because if its only watching you shouldn't even be bothered. Watching porn is completely normal and if someone wants to watch porn you have no right to tell them to stop. The only thing that you can do is watch porn with him... which is actually pretty fun :P

oh-ok, no problem. I apologize, also; I was a bit snarky. But, I agree with you. I don't know why the parents would have to be brought into it. I mean, eww.

......and you have no right to tell her how to feel about it either....

I think its a cultural thing. Many Americans might not consider it, but some religious sects might, or some more paternalistic societies.

I was not under any impression from the post that they were in religious sect or in some paternalistic society. I lived in few different countries some more traditional than others and have never heard of wife discussing husband' s porn use with his parents. Gross to say the least.

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The poster who advised involving the parents was from India. From what I've seen in films, and from coworkers, and my own Italian background, the involvement of the extended family is not that unusual. I dont go for it myself. But i am aware of instances just a few years ago of grandmas getting "involved" in what they perceived to be the questionable activities of their families, and the American grandkids caved - getting married or not getting divorced. Fortunately i never had me a grandma

Oh gee. I can't imagine telling my mom my husband uses porn go talk to him. Lol I have Eastern European background and our families are very meddling but even we can't imagine this. Porn? I had meddling grandma but even she would draw a line right there

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Exactly.

If you don't agree with someone's advice, it helps to look at where they are from as their culture oftentimes has an effect on the advice that they give. If someone doesn't agree with the advice, then no need to pick it apart because your cultural norms don't agree with it. In India it may be perfectly fine to get the rest of the family involved if the husband has said that he doesn't love the wife anymore.

You are correct. Cultures are complicated. It is just hard to imagine that subject of porn could be brought up to parents in a conservative culture. Not loving wife sure but discussing use of porn seems over the top in conservative culture. I wish I could ask a person from India if it is really ok

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I think after 25 years therapy should be the first step