[FalseDawn]

Hi, I'm a 15 year old boy from Bangladesh. I have severe OCD and anxiety issues since my childhood. I often get unwanted disturbing thoughts if I'm not busy with something. Recently I'm having a problem with it.
Where to begin? Okay, I'm living with my mom. My father stays in a different city for the sake of his job, so only me and my mother live together now. My relationship with her is bittersweet; as far as I remember. She fits the Asian parents stereotype. She wants me to be perfect. She always demands that I study. It used to bother me, but I've accepted it. She often scolds me and laughs at me for everything I do. She is a bit of a narcissas. She sometimes get very angry. Outside of that, she's a nice mother. She feeds me on time, gets worried about me at the slightest problem and tries to cheer me up when I'm sad.
However, we got into a fight recently. She kept threatening me to kick me out if I don't get A+ in every subject in the coming exam (which I usually get). She is too serious about my grades. At one point I asked her why can't she love me as her son instead of a trophy. She replied "The sole reason a mother gives birth to a child so he can does something to make her proud. If he can't do that, he is an worthless black sheep." I quit after that.
This is the problem. After hearing her reply, I feel heartbroken. I feel like she never loved me, she just uses me; and I can't accept that. I can't talk to her freely after that. She seems like a stranger to me. It's unbearable. I feel depressed. I have tried to convince myself that she loves me, but she wants me to do something great, that's why she said that. But it doesn't seem convincing. Help me!

[gloamingone]

I used to have a friend who was half Thai and half Caucasian. Her mother was Thai, and she had similar complaints--except her mother felt that if my friend wasn't married and producing children, she was worthless.

I'm sure her mother loved her, but in her own way and with her own expectations.

Your mother loves you, but she has a lousy was of showing it! She has certain expectations of you, as all parents do, but for some reason she's making that ALL she cares about.

It's horribly sad to me that she treats you this way. I wish I had some advice for you. Just know that you have been heard, and I am thinking of you.

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