Okay, so I don't really know where to put this post but it has to do with a relationship. I have been dating this guy for a while. He is 35 and I am 18. Is this wrong? I feel guilty about it now. I mean we haven't done anything; but I have done things for him through video. I feel ashamed about it now because I can never take it back. I don't want to leave him because I don't want to hurt him. I also feel stuck in this relationship. I mean we have talked about everything. I don't know what to do.

Also, I tried to break up with him today and he dropped the suicide bomb. Me being upset and all tried to take him back. Now I feel guilty and don't know what to do. I cant just dump him again. Any advice?

[mountain human]

Sorry to hear of your situation, no one should feel "stuck" in a relationship, that's usually a big red flag. Speaking of which, if he's threatening suicide, either he has serious mental health issues or is completely manipulating you. I suppose you're at an age where you can choose who you want to be with, but this whole situation sounds toxic--and it seems that you know it. Be careful!

Originally Posted by mountain human

Sorry to hear of your situation, no one should feel "stuck" in a relationship, that's usually a big red flag. Speaking of which, if he's threatening suicide, either he has serious mental health issues or is completely manipulating you. I suppose you're at an age where you can choose who you want to be with, but this whole situation sounds toxic--and it seems that you know it. Be careful!

When should I dump him? What do I say? Should I wait a month?

[insertname]

Originally Posted by Taylorlamelza1997

When should I dump him? What do I say? Should I wait a month?

Oh God no, do it immediately. Tell him you understand that it hurts him and that's the last thing you want to do, but you can't be with someone you aren't committed to and you want him to be with someone who does feel that way - try to put it across in a way that benefits both of you.

If he threatens suicide, ask him to please call a suicide hotline or speak to a friend. I understand you will be worried, but he is trying to manipulate you (even if he is doing so unconsciously). If you know where he lives and he threatens suicide, you might consider calling the emergency services. Then you will know that he is 'in the right hands' and you can take leave of any responsibility you feel towards him.

I've been there - couldn't leave a man I didn't love because I was afraid he would hurt himself. The guilt was awful. But this is not your responsibility, you need to live your own life.

[Bill3]

I cant just dump him again.

Yes you can.

Google emotional blackmail.

[shezbut]

You can go back to the break-up and stick with it, no matter what he says.

Don't let him guilt you into staying with him.

[Trippin2.0]

Originally Posted by Taylorlamelza1997

I cant just dump him again.

Of course you can, free will and all that jazz...

Silent exit is also another strategy, I had to use it in order to not get beaten to a pulp again.


End the relationship, and call 911 with his address.

[divine1966]

You can. Please leave him now

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