[CosmicRose]

I'll make this as short as possible.
I went out with a guy last night and he was a jerk. Here's the gist of what happened -
1) He didn't get out of his car to greet me, not a big deal, I walked to his car and opened the door and he seemed either really tired or uninterested
2) He made fun of my music taste calling it "horrible"
3) We went over a bump and he joked saying "I hit a cat. Good."
4) I told him what I do (job) and he said "That's it?"
5) We get to his house & he keeps asking me what I want to do & when I said I dunno what do you want to do? He called me boring, more than once
6) He said he didn't want to listen to my playlist anymore & I jokingly said "Oh alright" in a sarcastic tone & he said "Wow, you can walk home." By this point I was wanting to leave
7) He made fun of me because I couldnt get the hookah hash out of the package and he was making me feel really dumb
8) He changed into pajamas & when he asked me if he could do that I said "Go for it." He paused & looked at me so I said "Go for it." again & he looked at me strangely & said "Weirdo."
9) I moved my hand to grab the hookah pipe that he was holding & he said "Wow, excuse you? Bad manners." By this point I started to be quiet because everything I said he was either taunting me or making me feel weird
10) He said "You're acting like, zombie-status right now." I got up & grabbed my purse & asked him to drive me home, he tried to apologize saying he was just being sarcastic, but nothing he said was funny, the way he was talking to me was just plain mean.

Oh and somewhere in between all that, I grabbed a beer that was closed & put it to my mouth & he spent 30 seconds laughing hysterically at that & called me awkward. I started crying towards the end of the date, I couldn't hold my tears back, he felt really bad after that & we spent the drive home mostly in silence.

He texted me after I got home saying, "I'm truly sorry I didn't give you the night you expected, you're absolutely gorgeous and well grounded, I blew it."
I didn't text him back.
I'm really confused about this entire date. Any advice would be appreciated.

[Yoda]

Wow

I bet he doesn't get many second dates.

I would say ... thanks for the date but I think we just don't click , I wish you the best

[~Christina]

Did you know this guy at all before this date? If so did he act like a jerk?

Maybe in the future drive yourself to any dates to start with , that way if the guy is a jerk you can just get up and leave.

Sorry you met a jerk , but happy your safe.

[peaceseeker63]

Originally Posted by CosmicRose

I'll make this as short as possible.
I went out with a guy last night and he was a jerk. Here's the gist of what happened -
1) He didn't get out of his car to greet me, not a big deal, I walked to his car and opened the door and he seemed either really tired or uninterested
2) He made fun of my music taste calling it "horrible"
3) We went over a bump and he joked saying "I hit a cat. Good."
4) I told him what I do (job) and he said "That's it?"
5) We get to his house & he keeps asking me what I want to do & when I said I dunno what do you want to do? He called me boring, more than once
6) He said he didn't want to listen to my playlist anymore & I jokingly said "Oh alright" in a sarcastic tone & he said "Wow, you can walk home." By this point I was wanting to leave
7) He made fun of me because I couldnt get the hookah hash out of the package and he was making me feel really dumb
8) He changed into pajamas & when he asked me if he could do that I said "Go for it." He paused & looked at me so I said "Go for it." again & he looked at me strangely & said "Weirdo."
9) I moved my hand to grab the hookah pipe that he was holding & he said "Wow, excuse you? Bad manners." By this point I started to be quiet because everything I said he was either taunting me or making me feel weird
10) He said "You're acting like, zombie-status right now." I got up & grabbed my purse & asked him to drive me home, he tried to apologize saying he was just being sarcastic, but nothing he said was funny, the way he was talking to me was just plain mean.

Oh and somewhere in between all that, I grabbed a beer that was closed & put it to my mouth & he spent 30 seconds laughing hysterically at that & called me awkward. I started crying towards the end of the date, I couldn't hold my tears back, he felt really bad after that & we spent the drive home mostly in silence.

He texted me after I got home saying, "I'm truly sorry I didn't give you the night you expected, you're absolutely gorgeous and well grounded, I blew it."
I didn't text him back.
I'm really confused about this entire date. Any advice would be appreciated.

He sounds like he may use sarcasm to hide his insecurities. Block him from contacting you and move on! His behavior has nothing to do with you and reflects his own issues. You don't need guys like that...you are "sbsolutely gorgeous and well grounded"...he said it himself. You deserve much better!

That sounds like an awful date! I am glad you are safe too.

[Rose76]

I don't think you're confused. He does sound like a jerk. I'm proud of you not texting him back. He's still testing to see how much more crap you'll take.

[tony fudo]

Advice? Run!

[ptangptang]

Haha. Sorry had to laugh. I know you don't find it funny. I might try that approach. Being nice, funny, charming, interested in them, offering to pay etc etc doesn't get me anywhere on dates so that's something i haven't tried.

[Koko2]

Maybe he's read the pickup artist literature and went overboard with it. The mantra nowadays is not to put the lady on a pedestal and to diss her.

[healingme4me]

That doesn't sound like a date, sounds like just hanging out, and he sounds like a complete tool. Not much confusion, the abuse you endured would spin heads of many...

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[healingme4me]

To add, he should have spent good quality money, to take you to one of those upscale smoking clubs.

The words are he projected his baggage all over you...

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[Bill3]

We all agree with you that he acted like a jerk. I am just wondering if you would be willing to say more about what you find to be confusing.

(((((CosmicRose)))))

[tony fudo]

"Maybe he's read the pickup artist literature and went overboard with it. The mantra nowadays is not to put the lady on a pedestal and to diss her."

An interesting question is why these techniques WORK!!! I assume that they do, otherwise the pickup 'Gurus' would be out of business wouldn't they?

[Rose3]

Changed into his pajamas?

[CosmicRose]

Originally Posted by Rose3

Changed into his pajamas?

Lol yeah, it was about 11pm by that time, he changed into pj bottoms. Still cant
figure out why he called me "weirdo" after saying "go for it." though...and what does "you're acting like, zombie-status right now" even mean? When he said that, we were simply sitting on the couch in a dark living room watching a movie. I immediately got up and grabbed my purse after that. I've dated so many jerks my threshold just gets shorter and shorter every time now.

[Rose76]

Sounds like he was expecting to be heading for the bed. Then he had to get redressed to take you home, right?

What a fool.

Sounds like he was taking a lot for granted.

[growlycat]

Yeah, he has insecure written all over him. I run from disrespectful people. Your instincts are correct!!! You deserve better

[~Christina]

I think the next guy you date should take you for dinner or lunch...get to know him .... not just to "his place. "

[insertname]

Wow...now he has issues...I'm really sorry for your experience, that must have been horrendous for you. If you want to feel less angry, though, accept that this man is very, very mixed up indeed. He sounds extremely damaged and obviously something awful has happened to him.

I never know whether stuff like that helps others or not. It helps me if I feel angry at the way I have been treated and offended at words like "weirdo". If, like me, you struggle to feel confident in yourself those words can get to you and make you feel bad. Remember that those words have come from his issues. In your heart, see that you have met someone with severe problems, internally wish him well, hope that he is able to sort himself out and become a more balanced person, and move your mind on to other things.

Sorry if this in any way makes you feel worse. Some people feel better if the other person is just a prick (my friends are like that), but I feel better if I can see that everyone is struggling and if I can see them as a human being with terrible problems. That helps me to let go of the event and not allow it to linger in my mind. It provides closure to me over unpleasant events.

I don't know why I'm different that way, but I just thought I'd offer you what I would need in case we were similar.

I wonder if he doesn't have Aspergers or something similar or just simply doesn't understand how to interact appropriately. Not that it makes it ok or diminishes your feelings over what happened-just offering a different opinion.

I'm dating someone with Aspergers and he does do and say things are come across as mean and offensive, but I realize that he never means any of that the way it comes across.

Of course, if this is this guy's issue, he needs to take responsibility for learning to socialize better if he wants to date.

[hvert]

That sounds like a truly awful date -- if you can even call it that?? I hope he leaves you alone.

[divine1966]

Doesn't even sound like a date. Smoking hookah in his house while he is wearing pajamas and being rude? No good. Ditch him quick please don't have another "date" with him

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