[unplugmealready]

First of all hi all. I haven't been on here for some time now. Pretty much buried my head in the sand for the last X amount of months. I am beginning to feel worse though lately. My marriage is stale and has been for a long time. Our personal life is none existent. And lately I find it hard even to be in the company of my wife without an argument sparking or just both of us being in the same room together but not actually speaking (just doing out own thing). It's getting to the point now where I am having dreams about my ex girlfriend too. And for some reason she is on my mind again. I don't know if this is just a result of the staleness of my marriage and I am fully aware there are things I could do better my relationship with my wife, but I just can't be bothered to make the effort. As shallow as that sounds most of you will probably be able to relate as this is a symptom of depression. little or no interest in anything. I guess I am just having a bad time but I feel like I'm in a rut. Last I spoke to my doctor the next step was psychiatric help. Which scares me. Not sure I want to speak to anyone really. If I'm honest, I don't even know where this thread is going, so I'll just stop there. Anyway I hope you are all well and coping with life's traumas. Sorry it's been so long x

[Bill3]

Do you have a therapist? I do hope that you will speak to a psychiatrist, and a talk therapist if you don't already have one.

What do you find scary about psychiatric help?

[healingme4me]

Letting go of built up resentment is such a difficult step in relationships. It's understandable that you'd lack interest in taking your steps forward.
Does seem, focusing on your own depression, right now, is healthy for you.
Opening up to trained clinicians, whether a pdoc or talk therapist, isn't usually easy, at first. Those professional/therapeutic relationships can build, over time. I've found, that if I don't feel talkative or know what to say, they guide and will ask questions, not overly probing questions, but questions, nonetheless.
I have access to some of my medical records through a portal service that they provide at my neuro/&pdoc's office. There wasn't immediacy, that I can see in any type of labeling. Even, at that, depression is depression and anxiety is anxiety. Important is more that, overtime, I've felt better about myself and my life. I keep an eye on my depression, helps having become a more informed and aware patient.
Maybe going can help you in your marriage and with your wife? Important is that, overtime, at least, you will be well.
Glad to see you back.

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[unplugmealready]

Originally Posted by Bill3

Do you have a therapist? I do hope that you will speak to a psychiatrist, and a talk therapist if you don't already have one.

What do you find scary about psychiatric help?

I don't have a therapist. I don't know if it is a UK thing or not but we seem to (or I seem to) go to our GP for a lot of issues with mental health. So it would be a new experience to me and I have tried councelling before and felt I didn't really benefit. All they did was repeat back to me what I'd already said. So I have always been a bit skeptical about seeing any other form of mental health worker.

[unplugmealready]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Letting go of built up resentment is such a difficult step in relationships. It's understandable that you'd lack interest in taking your steps forward.
Does seem, focusing on your own depression, right now, is healthy for you.
Opening up to trained clinicians, whether a pdoc or talk therapist, isn't usually easy, at first. Those professional/therapeutic relationships can build, over time. I've found, that if I don't feel talkative or know what to say, they guide and will ask questions, not overly probing questions, but questions, nonetheless.
I have access to some of my medical records through a portal service that they provide at my neuro/&pdoc's office. There wasn't immediacy, that I can see in any type of labeling. Even, at that, depression is depression and anxiety is anxiety. Important is more that, overtime, I've felt better about myself and my life. I keep an eye on my depression, helps having become a more informed and aware patient.
Maybe going can help you in your marriage and with your wife? Important is that, overtime, at least, you will be well.
Glad to see you back.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

Thank you. that was also a factor that put me off. Not wanting to speak or not knowing what to say. Almost like I would be wasting the therapists time. I am one of these type of people that would lose an argument purely on the basis that at the time my mind would go blank and all reasoning and validity to back up my case/argument would leave my head until later on where I would kick myself and think "I should've said that". So I worry that I would clam up the same and not be able to explain the reasons for why I feel the way I feel and act the way I act. If that made any sense at all

[healingme4me]

Sometimes writing it down is helpful for many.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[unplugmealready]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

Sometimes writing it down is helpful for many.

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

I could write them down but I'd be worried they would be found by the likes of my wife and then taken the wrong way. I know that's a bit paranoid but I wouldn't want her to get the wrong idea