Commitmentphobia...

So.. My boyfriend and I have been together for about 3 months. We are doing the long distance thing, we live 4 hours away from eachother. Both have full time jobs, so seeing each other is hard and only on weekends.

In the beginning I couldn't get enough of him, I was crazy about him. I didn't want to leave his place, I instantly got sad when I drove home. We met in November and he took me home to meet his parents for Christmas. Which in anyone's eyes was probably way too soon. I used to be so touchy with him, I couldn't take my hands off him. We did say the "L" word pretty soon, considering we've only been together now for 3 months. But hey, when you feel it you feel it right?

So now.. He came to visit 2 weeks ago. And I didn't even want to kiss him, or hug him. Almost like I'm bored of him. He left and that following Tuesday I decided I needed a break. I used to be a firm believer that "breaks" are stupid and if you're in a committed relationship you shouldn't feel the need for one. But here I was, wanting one. It's been one week since we spoke. He did good at not contacting me, giving me my space. Today I texted him and we talked a bit.

Now this isn't the first time this has happened to me. My last 2 relationships ended because of this same feeling. I call it the 3 month curse...
Am I afraid of commitment? Do I not love him?

I just want to know what's wrong with me..

I think it is okay not to love someone after only a few months of dating, even if the lust was strong in the beginning.

Instead of 'taking a break' you might try old-fashioned dating, which is where you lead your life, the other person leads his or hers, and you get together for actual dates, which involve activities like going out to dinner (or cooking dinner at home), seeing a movie, meeting friends for coffee.

By extending the dating period, you get to see someone in a variety of settings, and you get to see how they respond to you and to others in those settings. Also, you get to see better how the person is over the course of a year or so.

The way I see it, your 'commit phobia' might just be healthy skepticism over the initial warm fuzzies we feel for someone we are initially physically attracted to.

I completely agree with IceCreamKid, except I have to add one thing.

I've always had big problems with seeing "love" as a feeling. I don't think that's true at all. Been married 6 years, and I certainly don't always "feel" love for my wife. But that doesn't mean that I don't love her, or that we don't love each other.

Love isn't something you feel. It's a choice. It's a choosing to take this moment to make the relationship better and continue. I don't always "feel" the warm fuzzy feelings, but I always choose to make our relationship work... and so it does. Love, the choice, takes feelings into consideration, but it also continually assesses whether this person is worth my effort (and only my depression tries to assess my own worth). You're dating right now. There's no need for commitment yet, or even for love. Just spend time together when you feel like it. No pressure. At some point, when you feel you've grown to know him (or whoever else), and that you've seen them at their best AND worst, and that you STILL want to stay together for the rest of your life... now you're ready to make the choice to love.