[TimTheEnchanter]

I am a relatively recently diagnosed bipolar II (or cyclothymic disorder?) if I understood my doc (who is Chinese) anyway...
At work part time - (for reasons I am not getting into here) I selectively and voluntarily divulged my diagnosis to some managers. Recently, I did the same to couple of friends I hang out with..
However, with strangers and friends it is a very different issue. I like some feedback on this because I am not that sure that is proper. For example; dates and the opposite sex - If I was a young man (which I am not) do you tell this to a date? Usually, we are attracted to other people with psych challenges but still some may be in denial.

[gayleggg]

I don't know that I would share it like on the first date or with casual friends. I tend to hold off until I know I can trust a person and feel they would be supportive.

[Luned]

I would think that is something where you'd have to get a feel for the situation or the person that you are with, how comfortable you are when it comes to sharing this information. I would probably not disclose this on a first date, but I maybe not wait weeks or months to tell either.

[TimTheEnchanter]

I even had a problem with my social life. Now I am older so don't matter...I am of a kinky (mainly like aggressive women who love to explore everything and anything...) disposition but I had never found a way to divulge it, especially when I was younger and shy. Now I just watch porn....

[Raindropvampire]

As far as when I was dating I always told after the second date IF there was going to be a third. I figured no point wasting time on someone that won't accept ALL of me. But I'm pretty open about it anyway. I mean it's never going to go away so might as well embrace it.

And if I may ask why doesn't it matter now? My parents are both in their 60's and I push them to date all the time. My mom is bipolar(undiagnosed and unmedicated) and it pains me to say I know for a fact my mom's kinky(she's told me stuff while manic that would straighten your curlies) and I always tell her just be upfront and be yourself; if they don't run away screaming they are a keeper.

[TimTheEnchanter]

Later, in my life I became bolder and I told everybody that I am not a "meat&potato" guy..my mother told me as a child that my father was kinky, but she never addressed what that meant. Back in those days, oral sex was kinky (sheesh...) but seriously, I am fairly certain my father was very much into BDSM

Originally Posted by Raindropvampire

As far as when I was dating I always told after the second date IF there was going to be a third. I figured no point wasting time on someone that won't accept ALL of me. But I'm pretty open about it anyway. I mean it's never going to go away so might as well embrace it.

And if I may ask why doesn't it matter now? My parents are both in their 60's and I push them to date all the time. My mom is bipolar(undiagnosed and unmedicated) and it pains me to say I know for a fact my mom's kinky(she's told me stuff while manic that would straighten your curlies) and I always tell her just be upfront and be yourself; if they don't run away screaming they are a keeper.

[avlady]

i would tell people for my own safety that i'm bipolar and other diagnosis just in case i need my meds if i start acting angry for any reason, i tend to get angry when i need my meds, its like eating a snickers bar. just to be safe i guess.

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by KinkyGuy

I selectively and voluntarily divulged my diagnosis to some managers. . . . . . . I am not that sure that is proper.

I don't think it is quite proper to go around telling your diagnosis of Bipolar II Disorder to people. That's your personal business. Do you go around telling people how much money you have in the bank?

What would you hope to get out of telling this to people? Are you hoping that they will be extra understanding of you, if your behavior gets troublesome? In most cases, they won't. Managing the effect that this disorder has on your behavior is your problem, not theirs.

Do you think that dating will go better, if you tell this to women you meet? It won't. What is going to matter in your life is not the diagnosis, but how you manage it. Telling people the diagnosis doesn't really tell them what is most important. It doesn't tell them how well you manage it. That's something that you can't really tell anyone. Don't worry, though - people will figure that out on their own.

If you think that telling people you are cyclothymic will make them more tolerant of you being moody and having trouble modulating your reactions to things, it won't. What helps people tolerate us is taking responsibility for how we act and apologizing when our behavior is out of line, regardless of what the reason for that is.

When you have dated someone enough to have a serious interest in pursuing a relationship with them, then it might be totally appropriate to discuss your diagnosis. By then, the person you are seeing will know what your behavior is like and whether they want to be around that behavior. At that point the person will give a darn about why you are the way you are. You can both talk about any psych diagnoses and about the way you grew up and the many influences on how you, and she, became the way you are.

I once told a supervisor at work that I had a long history of a mood disorder for which I had been hospitalized. That was a big mistake. It led to her kibitzing with my co-workers in a way that did not do me any good at all. A similar thing happened when I confided in my next door neighbor, and she started making unkind cracks about me to other neighbors. I had thought that my supervisor and my neighbor were kind of like my friends. They weren't. Now, I don't tell my personal business to people, thinking it is a way of deepening friendship with them, or eliciting support from them. Only after someone has proved a true friend would I share things like that.

People who are not your true friends don't care. Sooner or later there is conflict on every job site. Don't give people ammunition to use against you. Cause that is most likely how they will use it.

[eeyorestail]

I agree with Rose76. There are very, very few situations under which I would reveal a mental health diagnosis to an employer or coworkers.

[TimTheEnchanter]

The reason is they cannot fire me that easily. Often when I slept only 3-4 hours for days, I am "loopy" and irritable- bound to make mistakes. Further, I may take a med. leave of absence at some point. I do not advertise my condition but it was a strategic move, I want to retire/last as long as I can...I have been there 10-years, I need 3-4 more.