[Angelwngs25]

My fiance just about said he was going to leave me when he saw my lip piercing. I feel like **** for getting something I have wanted for a long time. I need a huge hug.

[Raindropvampire]

sorry he reacted that way

[Nammu]

[Crazy Hitch]

(((Angelwngs)))

I've always thought it was a matter of personal choice.

Not sure why the insensitive remark.

[justa_seeker]

I'm sorry that he acted that way.

[HockingPastryChef]

There wasn't any need for that behavior. It's something you like and I think he will need to get use to.

[Trippin2.0]

Well that's a bloody extreme reaction if ever there was one!


Have all the hugs you need!





He has issues, don't feel bad about something you like and have wanted for so long.

He should grow up and get his priorities straight because couples have bigger problems to face than lip piercings. If he can't handle a lip piercing, how can he handle marriage???


I doubt I would want to stay with someone who threatened to leave me over something so trivial, something that doesn't even affect them, annnnd something that made me so happy.


FTR, my bf has clearly stated that he is not a fan of tattoos, but he's never blinked at me getting them done.


Take lots of selfies and celebrate your gift to yourself.

[healingme4me]

I agree, threatening to leave you over a piercing is an overreaction.

Could border on manipulative behavior, if there's a history of such outbursts.

Sending

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

[~Christina]

Has he eventually calmed down ?

I would advise that you both need to sit down and have a discussion about what you each can do to your own bodies, I mean a piercing that you wanted and he flips and talks of breaking things off?

Nope sorry that's beyond immature. If he is that upset over something so small, will he always expect you do only things he approves of? like clothing, hair etc.

Red flag anyone?

[tealBumblebee]

I think that if your fiance reacted to that extent than he is reacting way more than necessary. Perhaps to the point that it seems like he is trying to find an excuse to leave. *Biiiighugs*

[Parley]

I myself would not have dated my husband if he had facial piercings so if he got one after we got engaged~ I hope I wouldn't have acted the fool but I got upset when he cut his hair off once.

You shouldn't feel like **** for getting a piercing you wanted and it's better then getting it because he wanted it. It's your body to do with as you please but it sounds like he was shocked and responding to the lack of communication?

[Tsukiko]

I agree with everyone else: it's a huge over-reaction and like tealBumblebee said, it sounds like he is looking for any little reason to end the engagement.

I don't quite understand why some people make such a big deal about piercings. They're not permanent. They can easily be removed and leave little to no scarring. Most importantly, they don't change who you are at your core.

I will go with an unpopular vote here...

First of all I can understand the whole thing with independence/your body/he has no right, etc...

That said. He may have simply had a knee-jerk reaction to something surprising.

Also, you are engaged now. Your lives are about compromise, and he may have JUST gotten into the mindset of coupledom. And you doing something without seeing how he felt about it might have surprised the settled, two-halves-of-a-whole kind of view he's adopted and embraced....I don't know, I don't know him. It's just a thought.

I don't believe in being anyone's doormat, but TO ME...it would mean a great deal to my husband if, after a calm discussion of how much he dislikes it (as I said it may just be an initial reaction), I would tell him that I would remove it because I love and respect him.
He would do the same for me.

ETA, I have been happily married for approximately forever, if that matters.

[SnakeCharmer]

I go with the unpopular vote, too. I don't happen to like facial piercings. I have friends and family with them and haven't ever gone all negative on them because it's their thing and not really my place to offer an opinion.

But I happen to find them a sexual turn-off. Can't help it. It's not a rational judgment, it's a physical reaction. Big sexual turn off. If my niece or nephew shows up with a facial piercing it doesn't matter because Auntie doesn't have a sexual thing going on for them. Pierce away and if I don't like it, I'll keep it to myself.

But if my H showed up with a facial piercing, especially a piercing in the lip, tongue or septum, it would be a major sexual turn off. A big one. I wouldn't like it one bit and I'd tell him. But he already knows I find them a turn-off because we talk about that sort of thing.

It sounds like you sprung your new lip ring on him without talking about it first and maybe it's a turn-off for him and you didn't know because you guys aren't communicating. Neither of you. You surprised him and he freaked. Neither of you stopped to talk before doing your own solo emotional thing.

Your lip ring and his disdain for it aren't the real problem. Not communicating well with each other -- again, both of you -- is the real issue that will make or break your relationship.

Hope you two figure this out and have a happy ending.

[freaka]

my husband told me that he was going to leave me if i got another tattoo. so i went and got another one....he's still here.

[peaceseeker63]

I agree that he likely over reacted, but did you tell him you were going to do it prior? Or was it a big surprise? I don't think that a spouse or potential spouse has the final say regarding what you do or don't do to your body, but a discussion prior is always a good idea. Plus, he is going to have to kiss you with that lip ring. Not appealing to me! But that's just me.

I'm going to agree that it's an overreaction with one caveat...

Are you two, for example, conservative or otherwise very much not the type of people who would have any kind of body modification? Is this something that goes totally against your societal norm? If so, (and forgive me for a kind of lame example, but I'm illustrating, here) I feel like it may be a Miley Cyrus/Liam Hemsworth situation when Miley was breaking her Hannah Montana mold. Liam fell in love with one person, and she morphed into another. I'm totally of the "your body, your choice" camp, but be aware that this may be your fiance's POV. One more thing: piercings can be expensive (I used to have a few, and because I went to a good shop, they weren't cheap). Whose money did you spend? If you're taking from the joint account to do these things, that may warrant a discussion.

That said, if you absolutely do not feel that this is the situation, then I agree with Christina; the two of you should sit down and have a discussion about boundaries and who makes the choices when it comes to each other's bodies. You have propriety over your body, period. Contrary to some beliefs, marriage doesn't change that.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by Hooligan

(((Angelwngs)))

I've always thought it was a matter of personal choice.

Not sure why the insensitive remark.

He makes insensitive remarks a lot and I don't think he even realizes it.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by justa_seeker

I'm sorry that he acted that way.

It's really not surprising. He told me when we were at the 2 year mark he didn't want me to get a lip piercing. But I think I specifically remember him telling me that I could do it right after I got my first tattoo February 4th or 6th, 2013. Not really sure of the date, but that doesn't really matter.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by HockingPastryChef

There wasn't any need for that behavior. It's something you like and I think he will need to get use to.

Yeah I have always loved seeing them on other people and I have always wanted one myself. I want to get another one eventually but I'm not sure about it now.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by Trippin2.0

Well that's a bloody extreme reaction if ever there was one!


Have all the hugs you need!





He has issues, don't feel bad about something you like and have wanted for so long.

He should grow up and get his priorities straight because couples have bigger problems to face than lip piercings. If he can't handle a lip piercing, how can he handle marriage???


I doubt I would want to stay with someone who threatened to leave me over something so trivial, something that doesn't even affect them, annnnd something that made me so happy.


FTR, my bf has clearly stated that he is not a fan of tattoos, but he's never blinked at me getting them done.


Take lots of selfies and celebrate your gift to yourself.

I'm not sure I even want to be with him anymore. He said that he doesn't want to have you know what with me where he can see it. He wants me to face the other way if you know what I mean. And today he didn't even want to do that with me because I have been having brown colored discharge from there related to the IUD I had placed on Feb 11th. And we hadn't seen each other for 2 weeks prior to today. I had to beg him to do that with me. He said it was kind of repulsing.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by healingme4me

I agree, threatening to leave you over a piercing is an overreaction.

Could border on manipulative behavior, if there's a history of such outbursts.

Sending

Sent from my LGMS323 using Tapatalk

Yeah...it's just an fn piercing for god sakes. It's not that big a deal. The only thing he should be worried about is that it doesn't get infected because when I have had my ears pierced in the past they always got infected.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Has he eventually calmed down ?

I would advise that you both need to sit down and have a discussion about what you each can do to your own bodies, I mean a piercing that you wanted and he flips and talks of breaking things off?

Nope sorry that's beyond immature. If he is that upset over something so small, will he always expect you do only things he approves of? like clothing, hair etc.

Red flag anyone?

Yeah he is very immature. Plus he's a mamma's boy. It's kinda a turn off. I try to forget about the mamma's boy thing cuz it seems like he really loves me and I didn't know that he was a mamma's boy until about 2 or 3 years into the relationship. I try and be understanding with him because he is the only child and he is spoiled by his mom and dad so it makes sense that he is a little immature and that he is such a mamma's boy but sometimes it gets overwhelming.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by tealBumblebee

I think that if your fiance reacted to that extent than he is reacting way more than necessary. Perhaps to the point that it seems like he is trying to find an excuse to leave. *Biiiighugs*

Yeah I kinda was wondering about that to.

[Angelwngs25]

Originally Posted by Parley

I myself would not have dated my husband if he had facial piercings so if he got one after we got engaged~ I hope I wouldn't have acted the fool but I got upset when he cut his hair off once.

You shouldn't feel like **** for getting a piercing you wanted and it's better then getting it because he wanted it. It's your body to do with as you please but it sounds like he was shocked and responding to the lack of communication?

I have actually talked to him about it right after I got my tattoo on like Feb 4th or 6th 2013. Can't remember the exact date. But I thought he was okay with it.