[Macd123]

Okay so I got on my soapbox about loneliness and how ****** the world is. Been doing this for a long time so it feels like home. I received several comments about getting out and so I did. I went to a local coffee shop, grabbed a chai and sat in the corner observing the world. Did this help - well not really because everyone was oblivious to my presence and once again I disappeared into the wall. I made one feable attempt to communicate but I ran out of energy and dropped to the floor. When I got back up it seemed like I was looking at everyone through a window - I could hear mumbling but nothing made sense. I began to feel uncomfortable and started the long gaze into the numbing history of nonconnectiveness. Was it too late - it had always been too late. The barista briefly looked at me and I tried to smile but I wasn't really there - I was on the other side waiting for my turn. What the hell was I looking for - some universal promise that was never kept. How do you make them listen, they don't know you. I finished my chai, nodded to the barista and exited. The air outside was heavy, a couple passed and laughed. No more, please no more.

[Nina Simone]

I've been in that situation. In my case it was my illness that caused me to feel that way. It seemed like everyone was against me but in reality no one was thinking about me because they were wrapped up in their own world. Meeting new people can be really hard. Hard finding the words. Hard putting yourself out there. You can only do what you can. Don't beat yourself up about it. Another day you'll go back and try again.

[ptangptang]

That really is just the way it is. Most of the time we are 'invisible' to other people. More than once I've gone out with the express purpose of not talking to anyone, and you know what. They don't talk to me. I don't do it any more. It was just to prove a point. Now I talk to anyone, even at the risk of coming across as a bit strange, well stranger haha. I waved across a crowded room,though I wasn't waving but drowning. Nobody noticed me so I put on my coat and left. It was late, too late but then it had always been too late. Too late and I was too far out. And not waving but drowning.

My perspective is that people are pretty much wrapped in their own lives and don't notice others. Sometimes loneliness can be emphasised by being amongst strangers, other times it can be a comfort just to have other human beings around even if there's no direct communications. It depends on my mood.

Don't take it personally, keep on keeping on.

[Macd123]

I don't take it personally I just get frustrated at my position in life. I did years of therapy and have taken anti-depressants on and off over a lifetime. Although the therapy and drugs probably allowed me to hang in there I never got to a point where I had meaningful relationships in my life. When I was younger I survived by telling myself that I still had a lot of time and something will happen. Well, it never really did and I still feel a universal disconnect. From my perspective faith and soulmate are just words - bitter interpretations but it is my world. Even this website makes me feel lonely because people talk about relationships and I can't offer any insight. Will I change - the evidence is scarce and it might not matter anymore. Thanks.

[hvert]

A few years ago, the best I could do was to go to Walmart to say hi to the greeters. It may not feel like much that you went out to the coffee shop, but it counts as a victory. You are taking baby steps towards making connections. Today you nodded at the barista when you left. Maybe after a few trips, you'll say something as you leave, or nod at one of the other customers you recognize as a regular.