Depressed mum

So my mum suffers from anxiety and depression and has been on and off since her early teen years (she's 38 now). Right now she's depressed and has been for a few years. Ever since I told her about my depression and she found out about my 'eating disorder' I feel like she's been really disappointed with me. She's been saying things like "I think all of this is really childish and stupid, why did you turn into this person?" and when I respond "I didn't choose this" she just says something like "yeah, sure". I know this isn't that much of an issue really, you probably think this is nothing but it actually causes me pain. Before I told her I imagined her being supportive and kind and help me get thru this but she's honestly just making it all worse. Considering her experience with depression I thought she would understand but she seems to think I'm choosing this. She has also blamed my ldr boyfriend and saying I should break out with him and stuff just because according to her he's "making me sad". If she really loves me, she should be incredibly grateful to him because without that boy I would probably be dead by now.

How long ago were you diagnosed with depression?

Have you and your mum ever discussed at length philosophy on genetics versus environmental factors where depression is concerned?

My flags were raised about this boy, whom without him you believe you wouldn't be alive. Did you and him once go to school together and one of you moved?

Sorry to read you felt invalidated by your mum.

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Is your mother receiving any treatment for her depression? Are your receiving any treatment?Maybe you should see your doctor and talk to him about how you feel. Then ask him to talk to your mother. If it comes from a professional maybe your mother will realize that you have a problem and need some help. Or you could talk to your school counselor and ask him/her to talk to your mother for you. Good luck to you sweetie!

Could you mother be frightened and perhaps guilty about your eating disorder? Perhaps she blames herself. In her distress she lashes out at you and your boyfriend? Is this something you can discuss with her?

I hope your mum comes around to understanding like my parents eventually did. In the meantime, you have people who care here on PC. Getting a doctor involved seems like a good idea.

I've never been diagnosed with depression as I'm seeing my therapist for the first time on Monday

We have had some discussions like that, yes

And no, we've always lived far apart but we text daily and Skype sometimes as well

Sorry to her about your mother. I do know what it is like living without the support/approval of your mom. I am 44 and still work to gain approval. I think it is great that you are able to acknowledge this so young, rather than denying it like I did. Good luck with your new therapist.

i don't have much advice but i can sympathize. when i was in my late teens/20s I had a lot of issues with my parents and we did not get along very well. That was during the worst of my depression/anxiety and bout with an eating disorder. Now I am 35 and they live very far away so I don't really see them much which in some ways makes it easier. But I talk to my mom almost every day and things are better with us now. Maybe time and/or distance will help.

My mom and I had friction in my teens. She made some invalidating comments through the years, biting comments, so to speak, but once I started college, there wasn't a day that went by that she and I didn't talk. She wasn't one to coddle me, yet she was nurturing and tender.
As a mom, now, myself, even with depression and anxiety, there's expressions my kids will say that I say, whoa, wait a cotton minute because I can see the unhealthy point of the thinking pattern. I had a boyfriend late teens into early 20's. My mom, upon discussion later on, felt she'd just let me figure it out myself. In my early 20's, I had a counselor ask, if perhaps my boyfriend was contributing to some of my distress. I didn't like hearing that then, yet, looking back, absolutely. Just couldn't see through the fog at that time period.

Hope therapy goes well for you. Any idea if there might be family sessions? Where you can both hear one another out, in a safe environment?

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