[Shadix]

I have these two coworkers, a guy and a girl, whom I met in training class and started talking to. They sit at the table right behind me with their backs to me. At first, they were pretty friendly. The girl in particular would often turn around and scoot her seat over and ask what I am up to. I would often turn around and talk to them too. But recently I have noticed that they have stopped being friendly. For those of you who read my previous posts, I started noticing this before the coffee machine incident. When I turn around and start talking to them, they will talk to me, but basically if I don't, they will literally not say anything to me for the whole day. But they still socialize with each other and the two guys who sit in front of them. Speaking of which, another thing I noticed is that whenever I turn around and start talking to them, the two guys sitting in front of them, who are facing my direction, seem to be giving me dirty looks. One of them's is giving me a look at that says "ugh what does he want now" and the other one is giving me a look that says "shut up and turn around already". What's odd is hat I haven't really even talked to those guys. I don't know if it's just in my head but that's the vibe I'm getting and it makes me uncomfortable.

The only thing I can think of that could have made them dislike me are asking stupid questions. But I usually do this because I don't know what else to say. The alternative would be to be quiet and unfriendly. Other than that, I am wondering if maybe some people just have awkward mannerisms which make people dislike them and I am one of those people? I have heard people saying things to this effect about other people. But like in the gym situation, I am confused about what I should be doing. I feel weird about not talking to them because there is a chance that I somehow gave off the impression that I am unfriendly and this would only reinforce that. But I feel really uncomfortable talking to people who may be annoyed by me.

[divine1966]

Hard to tell what's happening. I have some colleagues I don't say more than hello, some I am friends with and I have a few who are so annoying (not they'd mannerism) I avoid them. Are there are other people you talking to at work? Could you talk to them? What type of job you do? I only have time talking to colleagues at lunch or before after work. Do you talk to colleagues at lunch ? Are they friendly at lunch? I am just trying to understand dynamics here

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[Cris80pitt]

Originally Posted by Shadix

I have these two coworkers, a guy and a girl, whom I met in training class and started talking to. They sit at the table right behind me with their backs to me. At first, they were pretty friendly. The girl in particular would often turn around and scoot her seat over and ask what I am up to. I would often turn around and talk to them too. But recently I have noticed that they have stopped being friendly. For those of you who read my previous posts, I started noticing this before the coffee machine incident. When I turn around and start talking to them, they will talk to me, but basically if I don't, they will literally not say anything to me for the whole day. But they still socialize with each other and the two guys who sit in front of them. Speaking of which, another thing I noticed is that whenever I turn around and start talking to them, the two guys sitting in front of them, who are facing my direction, seem to be giving me dirty looks. One of them's is giving me a look at that says "ugh what does he want now" and the other one is giving me a look that says "shut up and turn around already". What's odd is hat I haven't really even talked to those guys. I don't know if it's just in my head but that's the vibe I'm getting and it makes me uncomfortable.

The only thing I can think of that could have made them dislike me are asking stupid questions. But I usually do this because I don't know what else to say. The alternative would be to be quiet and unfriendly. Other than that, I am wondering if maybe some people just have awkward mannerisms which make people dislike them and I am one of those people? I have heard people saying things to this effect about other people. But like in the gym situation, I am confused about what I should be doing. I feel weird about not talking to them because there is a chance that I somehow gave off the impression that I am unfriendly and this would only reinforce that. But I feel really uncomfortable talking to people who may be annoyed by me.

It is unpleasant situation but you can ask them what is wrong and why they are looking at you like this? Be direct. Or, as you described their looks, you make your own look which will say f*** you . Why would you even care. There must be some people who like you and you can have them as friends.

[Shadix]

Well today the girl walked in and I said hi to her and she was friendly and started talking to me. I guess whether or not I say hi depends on the situation, its hard to describe, like depending on differerent things like how we are positioned and whether other people are around or not, it just sometimes seems like there is an opening and sometimes not. I am hoping that she is not taking it personally or anything when I don't find an opening and don't say hi.

My job is IT, there are other people I make small talk with when I see, but of the people who sit around me these are the two who seemed open to socializing. I usually eat lunch on my own, those people usually pack their lunch and I don't. I don't feel like I am close enough with anybody else to ask them if they want to go to luch together and it would probably be awkward.

[healingme4me]

Hard to say what their deal truly is. Had this one day, at work, there was a morning manager's meeting, and since I'm filling in for another position, I was busy and focused on my responsibilities. Same day, I was asked if I was angry about something, that morning. I said gosh no, was focused on what I needed to do, which was before I was prescribed glasses and a day that a critical employee that I work with was out, and certain things were unclear.
Guess point being, better to ask than wonder, might not be anything you've thought of.

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[hvert]

Yeah, I think the thing about saying hi or not can be kind of confusing. I have always tended not to say 'hi' because I figure people are busy working. I am making more of an effort to say hi, even if I am not sure it's right, because it seems better to be friendly and sociable. I think I prefer this.

The two guys in front may not have anything against you personally. They may just feel like you are interrupting their work or their opportunity to chit-chat with your conversation.

I also think it is possible to have mannerisms that other people don't care for. If you think other people are annoyed with your questions, I would stop asking so many. Maybe volunteer something about yourself instead?