Difficulty Making Friends and Connecting to People @ Boarding School?

I just transferred to a boarding school after coming from public school. At my old school though by no means popular, I had a few friends I could hang out with since I had known everyone since elementary school, but I didn’t really feel close to any of them.

I was hoping to make close connections at boarding school but I’ve found it extremely difficult. Everyone has really set groups and I’m finding it really hard to break in. I’ve already been here for a couple months and haven’t made any friends so whatever advantage I had by being new and intriguing has worn off and I’m really afraid I’m not going to make any friends here.

I spend almost all of my time outside of classes and sports by myself and it’s really starting to get to me. Mostly because it’s really hard to do anything on campus without a group of friends. Most of the activities force you to pre-register with a group or are otherwise just really awkward to do by oneself. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety before coming here but since I’ve been here, it’s gotten a lot worse. I frequently have panic attacks, I spend almost night crying in my room, and I rarely eat because I hate the looks people in my classes give me when they see me sitting by myself.

People here are pretty nice, but I feel like I have nothing in common with them. Most of the kids at the school come from very rich conservative families whereas I am a closeted-bisexual scholarship student. I feel like it will be impossible to make friends now because it's so clique-ish at the school and people probably think I’m weird and I can’t even go to events to make friends and I just... feel so alone right now.

Any advice??

I understand how frustrating it is to feel that you do not fit in.

Do you start conversations with classmates during classes? Have you considered taking part in the activities that do not require pre-regsistration with a group, or, just randomly asking classmates whether they would like to join with you? Give it a try! I think you're just lacking a tiny bit of confidence in yourself. What's the worst case scenario? Some may turn you down. But some may be happy that you approached them! You said you find people at the boarding school nice. Use this at motivation to get you started. And if it so happens that you get some rejections, don't get discouraged! Be proud of yourself at how far you've come and continue starting conversations with others! Someone worthy to be your friend will surely notice, sooner or later. I wish you good luck!

Perhaps you could try joining a team (sports, intellectual, or political movements) at the school. Push yourself to be active in the ___ that you really enjoy. It will help pass the time more enjoyably, and help you make friends with those with similar interests.

You feeling like you don't fit in, due to your sexuality and family finances, I can understand. I would imagine that there is a counselor on your campus. Maybe you should check into seeing them sometime. I believe that you accepting your sexuality is the key. And that takes time....so, having a counselor helping you work through your acceptance could help a lot. (In my opinion, anyway.)

Very best wishes to you!

You'll probably hate this suggestion, but what about asking one of the teachers you click with for a suggestion about who might be a good friend match for you? The teacher may set you up as partners or with a group that you're apt to get along with. I had a teacher set me up as partners with a boy I had a crush on once - I think their matchmaking skills are underrated

Sometimes I would actually sit with the principle at my high school during lunch...she would tell me that she also had anxiety and her first day of work she was crying in her car and couldn't leave it for 30 minutes. So we shared a bond of anxiety lol and she told me that if I was ever feeling that way I could come eat lunch in her office.

You can reach out to teachers to help you or you could reach out to your fellow students. Find other students who are sitting mostly alone, go up to them, strike up any conversation, tell them you're kinda new, and ask them if you can sit with them. If you do that every day, you'll start making friends.