[Stogey1982]

Good evening all,
I am experiencing some rather difficult issues dealing with family. I know it has led me into anxiety issues as well as depression. First of all, my brother is married to someone who mistreats her children and I honestly believe she has her own issues that need to be dealt with, she has caused a lot of problems between my brother and I ever since they got married many blue moons ago. A few years ago I was diagnosed with cancer and was forced to quit my job until I could recover, luckily I am cancer free now, but during that time period I had to live with my brother and sister in law to make ends meet. They took advantage of me and took every penny that my now ex-husband brought home on his paycheck. If we did not abide by their rules they would threaten to kick us out and I had a daughter to think about. Since I was out of work, I also received food assistance and they took them too. Finally, We were able to secretly save back money and move out on our own, which saved me. I didn't know what I was going to do because I was so far into depression mode I couldn't think clearly.
Even though I no longer live with them I am scared for my life, I feel like what I have will never be mine and it will be taken away from me, I often have anxiety attacks when have tried to cut ties. I have 6 beautiful nieces and nephews and they always hold them against me. I finally decided even though it was family, I needed to let go and live my life. So what happens? they begin attacking me personally, first they try to go after my job, then they attempt to make phone calls to places like the government offices saying that I have lied about my situation and they have cut my benefits in the past. They never personally threaten me, it is things that I cannot trace back to them, but even if I confront them, they laugh about it. I have gotten to a point where I cannot even enjoy life or cut ties with them because they do things behind my back to harm me. They had a couple of friends come live with them from another state and they began doing the same thing to them, off to side I had warned them and they decided to get up and leave while they had the chance. The same things that have happened to me began to happen to them, they lost jobs, lost benefits because of mysterious phone calls and they are just plain hateful. Any ideas how I can process this? I know this was along post, but any help is more than precious to me!

[Crazy Hitch]

Hi Stogey

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A sick/twisted failure is what my current family status us so I'm not fit to offer advice - just commiserate and hope things improve.

[Ruftin]

Hello and welcome (((stogey1982))) I'm sorry the relationship between you and your brother is so strained. I think it was a good choice you made to put some distance between you, him and his wife. I don't know that severing all family ties would benefit you as you never know if you'll need them again in some way in the future. I wish you the best. I know family dynamics can be so difficult.

[CANDC]

Hi stogey, sorry you are in stressful situations. Many people here at Psych Central really value having a confidante and advocate in the form of a therapist. When things like this come up you can speak with them and they can help you stay with your own life and not get drawn into the other possible intrigues of other people.

Many people find compassionate, caring people here at PC. Some people find the forums give them the compassion and empathy they seek. http://forums.psychcentral.com

There are articles that go into more detail about coping
What is Loving Self-Care | In Your Own Hands

Please feel free to private message any of the Community Liaisons by left clicking on the name in blue to the left of their post) for questions or just to share.

[kaliope]

hi stogey
they do sound very vendictive indeed and i am sorry that you had to go thru all those trials and tribulations. it is great that you were able to get out of there. unfortunately they are going to do anything the can possibly do to try and mess with your lives because you had the nerve to leave them and take away the livelihood you were supplying them with. hopefully with their new focus they will leave you alone some now. it is unfortunate that yu have to break off ties but you do not need problems weighing you down. you have been thru enough. you may want to consider a restraining order if they do not stop hasseling you and then you can present that as evidnece to any angency they call complaining about you. take care. welcome to psych central. you will find we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[RedEagle]

Sounds like you're screwed. Also this sounds like the plot to a movie. There must be more to this story.

[Stogey1982]

First off, thank you all for the warm welcome! I have been looking around the forums and taking a gander at all the wonderful things that are supplied here.

Eagle, there is much more to this story of course, but I wanted to get to the point with my post. I agree with you, it is like some kind of funky movie plot twist. I have done everything in my power to stand tall and rise above everything that has happened in the past, but my own mental well being will not allow me to. That is why I have confided in this forum to begin with. I work hard, I am about to graduate from college and I am raising a teenager, therefore I have some good courses I have chosen to take, but if I make one mistake or say something that they don't approve of, then the knife is right in my back again. It's almost as if my pain brings them happiness.

[RedEagle]

Originally Posted by Stogey1982

First off, thank you all for the warm welcome! I have been looking around the forums and taking a gander at all the wonderful things that are supplied here.

Eagle, there is much more to this story of course, but I wanted to get to the point with my post. I agree with you, it is like some kind of funky movie plot twist. I have done everything in my power to stand tall and rise above everything that has happened in the past, but my own mental well being will not allow me to. That is why I have confided in this forum to begin with. I work hard, I am about to graduate from college and I am raising a teenager, therefore I have some good courses I have chosen to take, but if I make one mistake or say something that they don't approve of, then the knife is right in my back again. It's almost as if my pain brings them happiness.

That's pretty twisted, especially coming from family. Some people are sadists like that though.