[giddyupgrl018]

Hello All,
I guess I am looking for some advice, and help with my current situation.
My history: I am 42 years old, divorced with 2 children. My BF (significant other) is 59, divorced (twice) and has 2 children as well. We have been in a long distance relationship for the past 8 years. He travels throughout the southern states for work. I am at home going to school. So for the past 8 years, we have only really seen each other 8 days a month. He comes home for 4-5 days every other week. He stays in different hotels, or sometimes will rent an apartment, depends on the length of the job.
So this past February, I found out he hired a prostitute for oral pleasure. She was 23. She and some friends were staying at the same hotel as he was. She had left a note on his truck to “call me”. I googled her phone number and found her escort profile. I confronted him about it, he didn’t deny it. We both agreed to go to counseling and have gone a couple of times. Because of his traveling for work, we are limited as to how often we go.
I have now become obsessed with this girl finding out where she is, if she will be where he is at. I know it should not be about her and I, it should be about him and I.
I have never had to forgive anyone before. I am the type of person who, if you do me wrong, I will cast you out of my life and move on.
We both feel that our relationship is worth savaging. But, I don’t know how to get past this, how do I forgive? I cannot just forget about it as if nothing has ever happened..
I don’t know what my next move should be, how to handle my emotions.

[Bill3]

I'm sorry that you have this on your mind and heart. What has counseling been like so far?

[giddyupgrl018]

Originally Posted by Bill3

I'm sorry that you have this on your mind and heart. What has counseling been like so far?

We have only been to 2 counseling sessions. I think I have come to the conclusion that he isn't ever going to change. The counselor had said he needs to be transparent. That he needs to give up passwords to his accounts, it's been 3 weeks and he hasn't done so and when I ask he becomes defensive. I am terribly unhappy and confused.

[Bill3]

What would you think about individual counseling for you?