[bigmac217]

My boyfriend is a few months younger and not as mature. I'm 18 and had to mature more. But he is amazing with one catch, he's very pushy about sex and sexual things. Whereas I'm not very turned on by guys. If it's unprotected I ask him to stop after a little because it's a stupid idea. But it takes me pushing him off or holding him away to have him stay pulled out. Thankfully I'm stronger so he's only gone back in a few times. But he doesn't listen to no or stop until I get pissed off. Now he said we can stop having sex, and he'll stop being so pushy. But he has said this before. And he tries to push my head down for head, but I don't like that. He also pulls my chin very hard for a kiss, even in huge crowds. Which I can't do. And he clearly gets annoyed but denies it.
One more thing. Prom night. I said I didn't want to have sex. and then that night I got drunk, and apparently consented to sex, and he left huge hickies. Claims I said " Ah **** it". But who listens to a DRUNK GIRL. He should have respected me. Of course he begged for head and for some reason, I gave it. I hate to leave such a good person, but I am afraid to sleep with him again, that things will get worse. He'll get stronger, or idk. Is this assault.

[kelly8896]

Sound’s like he’s very immature and thinks only of himself or his satisfaction. He has no respect for you or your feelings. The part that makes me think assault is you being drunk and consenting. Not sure legally if a drunk person can consent. You’d have to ask a lawyer or cop.

I’m sure he has some good qualities, but you are too young to settle with someone that doesn’t respect your feelings on unprotected sex, giving head or public displays of affection. There are plenty of young men out there that will respect you and you shouldn’t settle for anything less.

Be confident, know what you want and will allow, communicate that and if the boy doesn't respect it or ignores it, then he's not worth keeping around.

Good luck and please take care of yourself.

[avlady]

i had a boyfriend like that as a teenager, i couldn't take it anymore, he was also pshysically abusive, please don't let it get to that. i ended up being assaulted by him in public too. if he is doing this now, what else is he also capable of? he totally abused you and took advantage of you, i would get away as fast as i could if i were you.

[toolman65]

As i understand it, one cannot give consent if one is drunk or drugged. So draw your own conclusions.

As long as you consider him a great guy, you will continue to put yourself in danger of being sexually assaulted by him.

I'm sure he is an attractive, charming guy. But so was Ted Bundy.

[healingme4me]

If you have to ask, it's probably a relationship worthy of ending.


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[Trippin2.0]

Good guy???


Where exactly? Because you just described a complete ahole.


Here's a friendly tip from someone who was your age not so long ago...


Up your standards, that way there's little chance of you getting into similar situations or choosing similar guys in future.


You deserve better than someone who can't even care enough to respect you.

i agree with the others... i don't think this relationship is worth it at all.

[ChipperMonkey]

Dump him. Before you know it, it will indeed be full on rape, he won't ask, he won't even attempt to stop. Lose this loser before it gets even worse.

[Keyslost]

Guy here if it helps your intuition is very good. My advice get away now find someone better who respects you and your body. Come back and talk if you need to

[Rose76]

Originally Posted by bigmac217

If it's unprotected I ask him to stop after a little

Why do you let it start, when you know that is where it is going to go? This is you not taking responsibility for putting yourself in a bad situation.

Suppose, I say, "Yes, your boyfriend is guilty of sexual assault." One can make a legal argument that he is. Suppose he could be arrested for that. Would you like him sent to prison for a few years? What is it that you want?

Women have to take some responsibility to not go off with men whose behavior they know is absolutely going to become objectionable. To think that you can allow a man to begin the sex act with you and then you can tell him to stop is just ludicrous. Yes, technically there are laws now that say a man must do just that. But you are repeatedly putting yourself in this situation. I can't imagine any judge having any sympathy for you. I wouldn't.

This boyfriend is not interested in having a chaste relationship with a girl. He's made that more than plain. Are you so afraid of not having a boyfriend that you will keep up this ridiculous tango you do with him, just so you will always have a date for proms, etc?

I don't mean to be unsupportive of you. You have every right in the world to chose for yourself the level of sexual interaction that you want to be engaged in. But, if a boy or a man makes it plain that he does not respect the limits you set . . . and he makes that plain repeatedly, then it is up to you to not be alone with him.

This guy has got some problems. I'll bet that even girls his age who would be interested in sexual interaction on dates would find him a turn-off. That's part of the reason that he is with you. He's not that desirable. So, in a sense, you are using him . . . just to have someone.

As far as you being drunk and taken advantage of. I think, in some jurisdictions (maybe all,) a drunk woman is considered unable to give consent to sex, so that sex with her is considered unlawful contact. So, again, yeah, your boyfriend was guilty of assault when that happened. Now, if he's so "amazing," and you are his friend, then why are you enabling him to keep breaking the law? If you are his real friend, then help him to grow up by not letting yourself be violated by him. He is very immature, but I would say that you are exploiting that by hanging on to him.

Your boyfriend has assaulted you and I'm sorry you had to go through that... It's very clear that he puts himself first and does not value you as you deserve. End this relationship, it may only get worse in time if you do not.

[ForevahAlone]

Originally Posted by bigmac217

My boyfriend is a few months younger and not as mature. I'm 18 and had to mature more. But he is amazing with one catch, he's very pushy about sex and sexual things. Whereas I'm not very turned on by guys. If it's unprotected I ask him to stop after a little because it's a stupid idea. But it takes me pushing him off or holding him away to have him stay pulled out. Thankfully I'm stronger so he's only gone back in a few times. But he doesn't listen to no or stop until I get pissed off. Now he said we can stop having sex, and he'll stop being so pushy. But he has said this before. And he tries to push my head down for head, but I don't like that. He also pulls my chin very hard for a kiss, even in huge crowds. Which I can't do. And he clearly gets annoyed but denies it.

One more thing. Prom night. I said I didn't want to have sex. and then that night I got drunk, and apparently consented to sex, and he left huge hickies. Claims I said " Ah **** it". But who listens to a DRUNK GIRL. He should have respected me. Of course he begged for head and for some reason, I gave it. I hate to leave such a good person, but I am afraid to sleep with him again, that things will get worse. He'll get stronger, or idk. Is this assault.

Good person?? Girl, you can do waaaaaay better than that. The guy has no respect for you or the boundaries you set.

[bigmac217]

Thank you to everyone! I left him a week ago, and I feel a lot better. I chose not to tell him the true reason, but I did tell him to never have sex with a drunk girl again.

Good for you, seriously, be proud of yourself for having done what you did. It takes strength, courage and confidence, and you got them all! Cheers!

[divine1966]

Good job being strong!!!! Hugs

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