[Gr3tta]

I am, and have always been a lesbian. I am (non-legally) married to a fantasticwoman i truly feel love for. We're wonderful together.

Except lately I've cheated on her twice with two different men. Both men are highly attracted to me and desire relationships. I haven't been caught yet, but i know its probably inevitable.

What the heck am i doing? I do not want to destroy my marriage with my wife. I really dont! But its exactly what I'm working on? I don't understand my actions .

Do any of you?

[Bill3]

I wonder if an impulse to self-damage--which perhaps already expresses itself in other ways--is also at work here.

(((((Gr3tta)))))

[Rose76]

As soon as I read the words "I truly feel love for," I knew you were equivocating about the love and not head-over-heels-in-love. That was even before I read the rest of the post.

You respect and appreciate your wife, but you want more excitement. I think you've gotten a bit bored at home. With these two men, you've felt intensely desired. I don't think you care for them a whole lot, but it's fun.

Maybe you're betting that, if she finds out, your wife will be forgiving . . . especially if you tell her you don't love either of the guys. Still, even if she forgives, she'll be hurt . . . and the relationshio will permanently change.

It sounds like you got into a committed bond before you were really ready. She was, but you weren't. Maybe the two of you need to talk.