[trashking]

my friend's been going through a lot, and i just want to protect them and hurt the people who hurt them and ugh? i feel really strongly about them but not really romantically and it sucks like what if they end up thinking i like them?
i admit. i love them. i love them a lot and want them to be happy and safe and just...but i'm not IN LOVE with them. we've been friends since middleschool,6th grade,and because i'm young that's not very long(five years) but i just hate it because i probably seem possesive and clingy or something. this friend of mine is dealing with a girl who wronged them, took their first kiss and broke their heart and i just wanna show that chick what for! i don't know i'm just venting here because i can't confront my friend about it.
i wanted my friend to make an account here but i put quite a bit of personal posts i wasn't ready to share with them so maybe not anymore...
we planned on moving in together after highschool but when does that stuff ever really happen? i guess sometimes i just really worried they will get tired of me and move on easily even though they are my very best friend.
this is more of a "coping with emotions" post i think but i ended up putting it here because friendship is still a type of relationship

[arundelle]

I have a friend like that. Constantly gets into relationships with girls who treat him like crap, and it kills me! He seems to think manipulation = female, and selfishness = self-confidence = sexy. Drives me bananas!

I love my friend too. Of course you love your friends! How can you not?

Why can't you confront your friend about it? Yes, you might get some backlash. But a true friend is honest and really wants to help the other person. You can set it up however you want. Why not forward your message? It says it all right there. You're concerned, you want to help, you feel stuck because you don't want to come off as possessive, etc.

Have you tried asking what you can do to help? It could be your friend has been wondering why you aren't interested in helping him get through it.

I can see not wanting to cross a line, but I don't understand why talking about heartache is off limits? It's one of the best things about cross gender friendships, you can get the insight from the "other side" so to speak.

[trashking]

thank you very much,i guess my worries were stopping me, but your outside view is actually really valid-i am concerned and if i show my friend this, maybe it will help with the "i really really am not trying to seem possessive or get with you" message i also want to send. I guess i just didn't want to weird out my friend. yes, i love all of my friends,- platonic love is normal- this one's just going into overdrive because of the girl. I am now doing all i can to help, even speaking directly to the girl that hurt my friend, because when i offered to do so, my friend accepted and is fully on board with it. this girl continues to bother and sexually harass my friend.

[trashking]

and although this doesn't really matter much(because friendship is friendship), I just wanted to say my friend an I are the same gender

[arundelle]

You want to protect your friend. I get it completely. Trying to figure out how to be there for your friend without overstepping your bounds, especially when you don't know where the boundaries are because you haven't seen them yet, is hard. You'll get there though. So long as you stay genuine with your friend the truth of your feelings will come across.

Although, you know you'll open a kettle of fish, don't you? If you've only seen the outside of what happened and you are reacting so strongly, you'll have to brace yourself, because when you make it plain that you want to listen and help, you might start hearing details that are even worse.

[trashking]

Thank you. Though it upsets me to hear the very little details already,yes,i know if i continue to get involved i will hear more in detail, and maybe even things i didn't want to know, but i want my friend to be happy and i think I'm ready to help.