[Forlan12]

Dear members.
I am looking for some input regarding my gf's behaviour. I have tried to talk to her with no success and this is my last resort I believe.
My gf rages occasionally and especially after doing drugs. It's really nasty and bad and out of nowhere. The next day she just pretend like it never happend. She does not want to talk about it. (I have asked her to stop doing drugs) I have also recently found out that she's been a stripper before we met but she will not admit it and twist it back into blaiming me. (I have no issues with stripping, just the honesty bit). I even looked through her emails and also found sugarbaby emails from before she met me. (I feel ashamed for looking). When I asked her about it she says it was all a joke even if it was several emails and she gave them her phonenr and how much money she wanted. I am extremely confused since most of the time she is absolutely lovely but out of the blue she goes nuts. The other night she got crazy when I went out from a bar for a cigarette and did not ask if she wanted one. I had to spend 40 min to calm down the situation. Last night she got absolutely wasted in a bar and I had to "carry" her home. She was crazy and rude towards the cab-driver. Today she was her lovely self.
I feel like the cliche "the nice guy" who wants to help her but the fact is I am willing to give it a try, I really do care about her. I am not familiar with personality disorders but someone told me he thought she might be suffering from something.
Any ideas/thoughts are very much appreciated!
Brgds!

[Keyslost]

Well buddy if you asked her to stop and she won't then it's time to leave imo. Doesn't sound like she's taking you seriously.

[Sandiegolove]

There are so many women out there, go get someone that loves u not drugs

[Trippin2.0]

Sounds more like a drug problem than a personality problem to me.


My ex was seemingly normal and nice for years, until the meth convinced him I'm a punching bag.


If she doesn't want help for her drug problem, then you have two choices:


1. Accept her as is.


2. Walk away.


Ps. Even if she has a personality disorder, it can't be dealt with underneath that cloak of drugs.

So either way she's not about to change.

[Forlan12]

Thanks everyone!
The thing is she does not only rage when doing drugs, it is just worse then.
I just realised that she's been sending half
naked pics to guys. She is saying things like: all men wants from Me is to f*** me! Things have really escalated and all she is saying is that she cant forgive Me for snooping through her emails.
I seriously suspect some disorder!
I am seriously lost for words, its a roller coaster!

[healingme4me]

Perhaps the focus on the email snooping masks the inner shame. Yet, no one deserves to be treated like crud. Roller coaster relationships aren't worth it.
And I'll give you the reality/low down on the personality disorder mention[staying, perhaps message], unless they are willing to seek treatment, it won't do much good. You'll learn about your own reactions, probably will learn alot about yourself, your role, how you got there, but....unless they are 'willfully' in therapy [not the boundaries of you go or i need to walk]...it doesn't matter if it's just the drugs or if it's the underlying cluster b personality disorder...

[s4ndm4n2006]

It matters very little if she has a disorder. suffering from one does not excuse a person from making good choices like NOT sending strange men half naked pics. She's flaunting herself and with or without a disorder there is no excuse for that. Quit looking for a reason for her behavior and accept this as bad behavior period and that she's not acting like a girlfriend at all.

She's more upset that you snooped and clearly not as worried about the fact that you saw what you did, only that she got caught.

[nicoleflynn]

You cannot change another person, and obviously this is a dysfunctional relationship....drugs and naked pictures?

[ChipperMonkey]

She lies.
She uses drugs.
She rages.

How many more red flags do you need?

And to be honest, if you're sending guys half-naked pics, DUH, they're going to want sex! Gotta examine the bait you send out before blaming everyone else. Its like the guys who throw around their money and then claim that women are all gold diggers.

[hannabee]

She lies, she uses drugs, she rages but I'm guessing the sex is pretty damn exciting. You had better get off this ride because it is going to crash and burn.

Hope you listen to the advice here. Oh, and if she has loving parents who are unaware of this behavior, I would tell them so they can get her some help and maybe save her life.

[Forlan12]

Thank you guys, you all got great points!
@hannabe. I have actually contempletd talking to her parents but It
feels like Pushing it. She has not been living in her hometown
the last 6 years, moving countries a lot. Her parents
supports her financially and I do not want to take away her
financial lifeline. I am afraid of What she'll do then. Not an Easy decision!

[hannabee]

Originally Posted by Forlan12

Her parents supports her financially and I do not want to take away her financial lifeline. I am afraid of What she'll do then. Not an Easy decision!

Oh my, that is a problem then. I think, were I her Mom though, I would want to know because seems to me there has to be some reason for her behavior. And, to me, her behavior seems scary. I mean you know her best, is she going down a self destructive path that might get her harmed or might she harm herself? If that were the case, then I think you have to let someone know.
Anyway, good luck!

[Forlan12]

Again, thanks. I dont think she will harm herself except for the fact that it seems that she's living a lie. I am tired of her entitled behaviour, lying, screeming, crazy making but most of all that she can not be open and honest. Tough call I have to say!