[WayBackWhen]

Quick run-down...

Met my first bf when I was 15(first saw him when I was 14). We started dating right before I turned 16. About a month after our one year anniversary, he moved, and I haven't seen him since...(which was last year) We broke up officially in August/September last year.

Problem is, he still wants to be with me. I'm not so sure...but it's not because he was a bad guy. In fact, he was great and I have nothing bad to say about him. Its just that, as the months rolled by with us being away from each other(but still having regular contact with one another) I think I want more from a relationship and from a guy, but I dunno. Like, Im not waiting for this perfect prince charming, who will be my soulmate, make me feel complete and whole...thats silly. But I want someone who I can connect with more. Someone whom I can have deeper conversations with, more things in common with, but still someone who is sweet, loving and faithful(like my ex.) Problem is, I worry if im chasing this unrealistic dream guy...like, maybe Im asking for too much??

I grew up seeing my mom having many failed relationships, and im scared to end up the same way. My ex was very good to me, and im scared I wont find another nice guy like that(even tho logically, I know there are good guys out there...)

Im sitting here on my 18th birthday, crying because im telling my ex how I feel at the moment, and of course, he's hurt...I feel like crap. What should I do??? I thought he'd be over me by now, having not seen me for one year, but...

Advice? ;(

[CANDC]

Sorry you are crying on your 18th birthday. Do you have a therapist? Why you are really crying is a great thing to bring up with a therapist.

You have one young man that still wants to be with you. That can mean he really likes you and you and he are a good match
OR
He is still clinging to a relationship that is over.
OR
you fill in the blank

What about lets keep in touch but date other people because we live so far apart?

Still think a therapist might find more than the surface tells.

Love,
Allan

[WayBackWhen]

Thank you...

I dont have a therapist. and I guess im crying because its hard to fully let go, and im afraid to...I dont wan to hurt him, and the though of hurting him or anyone kills me inside.

[Parley]

Breakups are tough but sometimes it is the kindest thing a person can do. I would be so sad if my children spent their high school years in a long distance relationship.

My advice would be to wipe those tears away~ call a few friends and enjoy your birthday. Maybe try a little flirting without the guilt. Be safe but enjoy your youth.

[WayBackWhen]

Thank you everyone...

I just feel so bad because he says I was the one(...even though we're both teens o.O. I mean, I dont believe in soulmates, but I do believe you can meet a person whom you can happily live the rest of your life with at a young age--it's just extremely rare.), he still has feelings for me and is hurt that I dont think I want to get back together with him, he feels that he did everything for nothing(which, I dont see it that way, but whatever), he says that I've hurt him and saying sorry wont help etc, and it's just so emotionally stressful and draining for me. I just dont know what to do right now....

WayBackWhen, I'm 2 years older than you and proof that long distance relationships can last during high school and beyond (I've been in my current relationship for 4+ years now).

If he is worth it, you CAN make a long distance relationship work. It won't be easy, but relationships usually aren't anyways...

The question you need to ask yourself honestly is whether you have significant feelings for him and if you can see a happy future with him. If the answer to BOTH is yes, and he's onboard and has feelings for you as well, then there's no harm in trying a long distance relationship to see if it could work for you... If he's worth it, fight for it! If he's not, don't bother.

[Cris80pitt]

It is hard for you now but time heals wounds. Everything will be ok with both of you.